'The Bachelor' Recap: Top Moments From The Women Tell All


(ABC)

Considering how crazy this entire season has been, The Bachelor’s The Women Tell All episode was very tame. I think the problem is that all of these women generally get along with each other and were well-liked by viewers. I mean, on last season’s Bachelorette, contestants were booed. (Also, I gladly welcomed Juan Pablo's extra time to talk. How times have changed!) That’s what should happen! The women did all have similar opinions — negatively skewing ones — about Juan Pablo, so at least there was that. Even though this wasn’t the most dramatic Women Tell All in Bachelor history, to borrow Chris Harrison’s preferred phrasing, there were some highlights.

Here are the top ten moments (in no particular order) from The Women Tell All.

1. Molly The Dog
Molly, Kelly the Dog Lover’s dog, was there! Kelly mentioned that Molly didn’t like Juan Pablo upon their first meeting and walked right past him. Actually, Kelly mentioned a lot of stuff. She told all, if you will.

2. Everyone Agreeing On Clare-Gate 2014
Chris Harrison asked if the women thought Juan Pablo handled the Clare ocean situation properly and was met with a resounding “no” from all of the women. Everyone was in agreement the entire time that his honesty didn’t border on rudeness, but rather crossed the line into full-fledged jerkdom.

3. Juan Pablo Actually Liking Sharleen
All of the women also agreed that their conversations with Juan Pablo tended to be surface level, including No Screen Time Danielle, who apparently actually spoke to Juan Pablo at some point. Could’ve fooled me! The only one who didn’t go along with this was Sharleen who said she “found him very curious” and interested in the places they traveled and her time living in foreign countries. I think he may have been genuinely interested in her other than the “besitos,” especially after hearing every single other woman confirm Andi’s opinion that he’s self-centered.

4. Andi on Juan Pablo’s Reign as Bachelor
“I think he thinks he was a good bachelor.” If it isn’t clear, Andi DOES NOT think he was a good bachelor.

5. Juan Pablo Thinking He Could Be Friends with The Women
One of the first things Juan Pablo said when his portion of the show started (this was an hour into an hour and a half long episode, mind you) was “I believe that I can have some friends here.” Nope. I don’t think he can. The only one that even sort of likes him is Sharleen and she felt such strong chemistry with him that they could never be friends because they would make out whenever they saw each other. There are no friendships coming from this.

6. “It’s okay”
Juan Pablo thought saying “it’s okay” after Andi spoke was so hilarious that he did it twice. She took it well, but it was still annoying. I get that it’s a joke, but he’s still making light of a situation that she took very seriously. Later, during the bloopers segment (yep, that is a thing that exists), there was a montage of Juan Pablo saying “it’s okay” that everyone had a good laugh about. He really does say “it’s okay” ALL THE TIME.

7. Lucy the Free Spirit
Lucy the Free Spirit had the third best job title this season behind Kelly the Dog Lover and Lauren the Mineral Coordinator. During her time on the show, Lucy lived up to her name, but on The Women Tell All, Lucy seemed to take things much more seriously. She said something about all of them women wanting to feel like they were in “individual and unique relationships” with him and I was like, “Your role on this show was flashing your boobs. What happened to all the footage of Lucy caring about this show?”

8. Kelly Bringing Up the Anti-Gay Remarks
If you’re here, you know what Juan Pablo said. Kelly brought up the Juan Pablo's remarks, in particular the “more pervert” quote, and noted that she was offended as someone who has a gay parent. Juan Pablo handled it well saying that he wasn’t going to spend four minutes talking about it there and would rather spend an hour explaining it to her after the show. Sharleen rang in that she spoke with Juan Pablo about equality when they were in Seoul and she found him to be very open-minded. Maybe Juan Pablo should have ended up with Sharleen. Apparently she brings out a different (some might say better) side of him.



9. Juan Pablo’s “Little Package”
In one of the bloopers Juan Pablo tries to explain how he needs a woman who will accept him with his “little package” by which he probably means baggage, as in, his daughter. One of the producers has to interrupt him and say that viewers might think he is… lacking in a certain area. Middle school humor! Yay!

10. Juan Pablo Making His Mom Cry?
In a preview from next week, Clare is shown talking to who I think is Juan Pablo’s mother. JP’s mom says something about how Juan Pablo can be harsh and Clare says, “He made me cry.” Mom responds, “Me too.” What?! He makes his mom cry?! 

Bonus! Audience Member Reactions
Bachelor/Bachelorette live audiences never disappoint. They make crazy faces the entire time. I seriously think they are forced to chug a carafe of coffee before they enter the studio. Anyway, at the end of this episode some of the audience members gave their guesses for the finale and one lady stole the show. “I think one woman will get chosen, but I’m not going to tell which one.” Oh. Thanks. Even though this is a guess based entirely on your own personal viewing of the show, you’re not going to tell. That’s really helpful.

Next week someone will be chosen by Juan Pablo and possibly proposed to. Or Nikki and Clare could both pull an Andi/Sharleen and ditch him. The preview did end with Juan Pablo mysteriously walking into a forest.

Did you enjoy The Women Tell All? What do you think will happen on the finale? Talk it out in the comments!

(All photos: ABC)

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