15 Jokes Only Hardcore 'Once Upon a Time' Fans Will Appreciate
How badly are you Hooked on this show?
From Regina's bizarrely fabulous outfits to Rumpelstiltskin's creepy gold skin, the characters of Once Upon a Time are memorable to say the least. Although it's getting more and more difficult to keep track of who's evil and who's following the path of light magic, one thing's for sure: This show sure is a fantastical ride. In honor of the new season, here's a collection of 15 jokes that only hardcore fans of Once Upon a Time can truly appreciate. Enjoy!
1. The gist of how it all began. You know, back when Emma wasn't a believer and Henry basically believed in everything.
How man times was the word "believe" used in Season 1? Henry really was on a mission to prove that he was the most annoying character on the show. Also, Emma definitely needs to invest in a new leather jacket. Sure this is her signature look, but come on, girl! You're going to have to do better than that to compete with all of Regina's insanely over-the-top outfits.
2. Trying to figure out the family history of the main characters is a seriously big mistake. Who can even keep track of all the insanity?
It's definitely a small world if you live in Storybrooke. Seems like everyone is either related to each other or has been romantically connected. After a while, it all just becomes a blur. That's when the recaps actually come in handy!
3. Peter Pan does not appreciate your jokes, mermaid.
Oh, Ariel. You're so beautiful, yet so painfully boring. Let's hope this storyline never returns!
4. Not so fast, Killian! Mr. Gold always gets the last laugh.
Pirates sure are mouthy and Killian is no exception. Pissing off Regina and Rumpelstiltskin is a terrible idea, especially when you have no magical powers and only one hand.
5. Let's rewind back to when Regina was still a raging villain who sported a wannabe soccer mom haircut. Oh, how times have changed.
She may have gone soft, but Regina will always carry a little bit of the Evil Queen inside of her. Hopefully it's just the fashion sense and biting humor. No one needs a repeat of that poison apple situation, okay.
6. Poor, Neal. He was a good guy with bad timing and a perpetually constipated face.
Some fans were so enraged by the possibility of Neal coming in between Emma and Killian that they actually rejoiced over his death. The weird thing is that Emma and Henry barely remember him any more. Perhaps they are relieved that they don't have to decipher what Neal's perpetually constipated face was expressing? Is it joy or sadness? Maybe anger!?!?
7. In the words of Tyra Banks, "shine bright, shine far. Don't be shy, be a star."
A woman scorned will hate you forever, but if that woman is Cora, then she'll just travel through portals to ruin your life. No biggie. She's got the skills to kill while looking like she's walking the runway during New York Fashion Week.
8. Viva La Swan Queen!
Some diehard fans love to ship the Evil Queen and the Savior, although there's been no overt evidence to support a sexy romance between the two. But, hey, you can always hold onto that little bit of hope. After all, Henry would surely tell you that it's all in the magic of believing. Or you can ship Regina and Emma with Robin and Hook.
9. Look, there's Charming in his sensible battle attire! How can one un-see this bear caplet ASAP?
So is the mirror only reserved for the Evil Queen? Seriously, Charming's questionable fashion sense is more terrifying than Cora's withering stares. Okay, so that might be a bit of a stretch, but the man should know how to dress to impress. That bear caplet must weigh like twenty pounds.
10. Killian's failed attempts to lend a helping hand. Emma has no time for this nonsense, okay!
There are many things that Captain Hook is good at―like standing and looking beautiful or staring longingly at Emma―but being helpful is definitely not one of them. Stick to your strengths, buddy.
11. Trying to explain the premise of Once Upon a Time to someone who doesn't watch the show.
Some people just keeping sipping the haterade, but they are seriously missing out on life by disregarding the magnificence of Regina. Those foolish peasants!
12. Snow being the biggest NARC ever!
How many times have you screamed at your TV screen when someone asked Snow to keep a secret?
13. Oh, Peter Pan. You've got such good hair and such a bad attitude.
It's safe to say that Peter Pan was probably one of the only characters who could shut Killian up, but then again he's Rumpelstiltskin's father. Yeah, who even remembers that storyline?
14. The fact that Snow and Charming have zero chill.
Poor Emma! Can you imagine being abandoned for most of your life and then reconnecting with your parents when they're the same age as you? Like what even? Maybe that's why she only has two moods―she either wants to punch someone in the face or cuddle with them next to a warm fire. We feel your pain, Swan.
15. Important moments of self-reflection brought to you courtesy of Emma Swan/the Sheriff/the Savior/the new Dark One. Are you confused yet?
Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the magical madness of Emma Swan. She's got sass for days and a boyfriend who could apply eyeliner in his sleep. What a lucky lady!
Tune in on Sunday nights to see the OUAT saga continue. What do you think will happen if Regina turns into the Savior? What will happen when Emma is no longer consumed by dark magic? Will these two bad ass ladies collectively rule over Storybrooke? There's just too much on the line this season, you guys!