(ABC)The Bling Ring: Massachusetts Edition
In this week's episode, more is revealed about Emma and Lily's connection. Flashing back to 1999, Emma is happy in a new foster home with a cookie-cutter family. As they are in the middle of planning to go on a family camping trip, including making G.O.R.P. (which we all now know is “Good Old Raisins and Peanuts"), Emma finds Lily hiding in their garage. Seriously? This chick is so bizarre! Lily admits that she got into some trouble and begs Emma to help her. Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver invite Lily to stay for dinner, where Lily proceeds to lie to them about how her and Emma met. Emma is upset with Lily and doesn’t want her new chance at having a family to be ruined, especially after finding out that Lily is wanted for armed robbery! Now we all know that it’s not Lily’s fault that she is inherently so dark, but either way she is just bad news!
Lily requests one last favor from Emma and then she’ll leave for good. She asks that Emma steal back her birth mother’s necklace from her psycho boyfriend’s place. Emma sneaks into what looks like either a drug den or where vampires hang out and grabs the necklace without a hitch. However, when she arrives home, she is caught by her new parents. They tell her that they know all about her friend Lily and that she stole all of their family vacation money. Emma is devastated, knowing that she will now never be accepted by the family, and runs away.
Sure enough, Lily finds Emma at the bus stop. She seriously does not quit! Lily says that now her and Emma have money to do whatever they want and they don’t need family, just each other. Emma doesn’t buy into it this time. Lily confesses that she honestly tries to do the right thing, but somehow feels cursed into making bad decisions. To Emma, it just sounds like another lousy excuse, as she pushes her away for good…or so she thought.
Savior vs. Anti-Savior
In Storybrooke, the town is still recovering from the death of Cruella. Rumple and the Author attend her funeral, vowing to keep their plan and ensure their happy endings by turning Emma dark. One would think that her funeral would’ve had at least some more pizzazz! Rhinestones or a fur-lined coffin would’ve been très chic, darling. While brooding at Granny's, Emma tells the hero crew that of course she regrets killing Cruella, but that doesn’t mean she has turned to the dark side. Girl, who are you kidding? Maleficent interrupts, claiming that she is done working for Rumple and wants Emma to find her daughter Lily. Emma quickly realizes that Maleficent’s daughter was her only childhood friend. Their lives have been intertwined for a lot longer than she realized. As Regina aptly puts it, “Ain't fate a bitch.”
Regina wants to head to New York to claim back her hunky man Robin from the clutches of her alive and wicked sister Zelena, so she teams up with Emma to go on a road trip. It’s just like Crossroads! Except without all the crop tops and singing. On their travels, Emma find out from a Ron Jeremy look-alike that Lily died in a car crash and had a crappy life. Emma almost chokes the man out in rage! When the Evil Queen is more tame than you, there’s a problem.
As the two ladies continue on their journey, they get a flat tire and stop at a local coffee shop. Emma instantly recognizes her waitress – it’s Lily! When Emma tries to confront her, Lily lies and says that she’s happy in life now and doesn’t need Emma’s help. But Emma uses one of her OG magical gifts – she knows that Lily is lying. Regina and Emma find Lily’s home, only to see evidence of Lily’s obsession with finding Snow and Charming. Thanks to the Sorcerer's Apprentice, Lily has known her story all along and has been plotting to destroy them. She steals Emma’s car and the ladies head to the streets Fast & Furious style. When Emma finally catches Lily, the two have it out! It’s Savior vs. Anti-Savior. Emma pulls a gun on Lily, with Lily egging her on to pull the trigger. At this point, even with Cruella, we have never seen Emma so very close to going to the dark side. Regina pleads with her to put the gun down, which luckily she does. It’s really weird that the two former friends-turned foes-turned friends are now cool, but for the sake of the show we’ll go with it for now.
Do Ruby Slippers Come In Newborn Size?
Regina, Emma, and Lily finally make it to Robin and Marion aka Zelena’s apartment in New York. Regina quickly fills Robin in on Marion’s true identity. Like anyone else would be, he’s pretty shell-shocked. How would you feel if you just found out that instead of sleeping with your wife you were sleeping with the Wicked Witch of the West? Sure enough, Zelena comes home just in time to break up this little reunion. As Regina asks Robin to get his son and get the hell out of there, he is resistant. Why you might ask? Because Zelena is pregnant with their child! Gotta love Robin for being honorable and all, but he really shouldn’t have gone down that yellow brick road. Guess a little munchkin is on the way!
Other notable moments from this week's episode:
- Rumple uses Belle's new boo/master thief Will Scarlett to steal back her heart. Poor Will, seems like Belle (surprisingly) still has a thing for her villainous ex-husband.
- Finally! A glimpse at the Sorcerer! Actually, it was just a James Earl Jones-esque voice and a purple cloud of smoke, but still.
- Does anyone else think the Sorcerer's Apprentice looks like Old Man Marley from Home Alone?
What did you think of this week's Once Upon a Time? Be sure to share your thoughts in the comments!