Ready for a PLL episode full of blood, familiar faces, shirtless Mike, and plenty of drama? Good, so are we! So let’s get to the recap, Pretty Little Liars fans.
Lindsay: We open at a blood bank — does it seem strange that the liArs haven’t been to one yet? With all the blood they deal with on a daily basis with all those murders? Anyway, two sort of significant things happen here. The first is that some lady in a peach suit makes a vague threat to Ashley Marin about not supporting her causes if she’s not with #PastorTed, and the second is that Mike Montgomery comes into the blood bank and attempts to steal blood. Or looks like it, anyway. Um, why would Mike need someone’s blood? Is he A? Or helping A? Of course, the liArs that are not Aria think so, and Aria is all “guys let’s not judge yet OKAY” and then cheats on her math test. Andrew (remember him and Spencer’s thing? Gross.) sees her cheating off of him and like, weirdly blackmails her into getting tutored by him. What’s up with dat?
Jess: Of course, Spencer, who herself has cozied up to Andrew’s dimples (Strip Quiz Bowl practice, anyone?), warns Aria about his charms (and this is when she still doesn’t know that #Ezria is no more). But before Aria can study buddy it up, she intercepts a call to Mike from “Hank Mahoney” at Chester Women’s Correctional Facility (Ali’s new home). She assumes it’s Alison, but the caller hangs up immediately upon hearing Aria’s voice. So Aria confronts her bro (who is being super bro, shirtless and working out and hiding blood in protein drink cans — normal), and of course, despite her Ali warnings and her “I know you fought with MonA the night before she died,” he slams the door in her face. Then he AIM chats (Mike, were you even alive during the AIM years? What was your fave away message font?) with “Hank Mahoney,” discussing a drop-off for the aforementioned blood vials. UH-OH. Little Mikey Montgomery, where did we go wrong with you? Remember when the worst thing you did was steal pottery from Jenna?
Lindsay: Spencer’s new boarder, Hipster Artist Jonny, invites her to be his assistant on a job he has to do — a mural at Hollis College. So she goes along with it, and they have a grand old time just being painters in the dead of the night, as if that wouldn’t arouse a bit of suspicion. What a beautiful painting they’ve created! But when Spencer opens the paper the next morning — BOOM — someone has vandalized Hollis College! Spencer understandably freaks out because she was just arrested for murder, and Jonny is like “whoa, man, sorry, just wanted to hang out.” Then why didn’t you just ask her out for a milkshake, dude? Let’s not get her arrested.
Jess: And back in the ongoing saga of Mike, Em spots him withdrawing a buttload of cash from a STACKED account. Maybe Mike can donate some of that $$$ to his old hook-up buddy, Hanna, so she can go to college? Because she’s off visiting Papa Marin behind Ashley’s back, asking for tuition money because schools won’t give her financial aid when her father’s as well-off as he apparently now is. So while Hanna chats up her dad (and gets the bad news that her dad is picking stepsister Kate over her when it comes to college funding), Em runs off to show Aria Mike’s ATM receipt, which involves interrupting her study sesh with Andrew and asking to borrow his car to follow Runaway Mike. Turns out neither Em nor Aria can drive stick, so Andrew becomes an honorary liAr for the night, aka chauffeur to Jonah’s Diner. There, the girls witness an exchange between Mike and “Hank” AKA Cyrus, Ali’s fake kidnapper. You know, the guy Ali maybe had a thing with while on the run, who maybe robbed her while in a halfway house, and who definitely got paid off by her to falsely confess to her kidnapping.
While they stake out the diner, sans Hanna because she left her phone at her dad’s, the girls get an A text (“Thanks for donating to my get-out-of-jail fund. -A,” with a picture of their blood donation vials), get propositioned for a vague trade by Cyrus, and get their butts saved by Andrew and his baseball bat. And then, of course, we get to see Mike staring creepily through Spencer’s living room window like Rosewood’s Edward Cullen while the liArs have a slumber/misery-loves-company party upstairs. Cut to: the A-tag this week, which shows a gloved hand dropping Hanna’s blood on an already-bloody pink floral fabric while watching the recording of Caleb and Hanna planning the storage unit break-in. Oh. Sh!t.
Pretty Little Bits n’ Baubles:
- Why are the liArs so militant about the blood drive cookies (and brownies)? Are they trying to eating-disorder Emily? Not cool, guys.
- Totally digging Mike’s American Psycho moment working out sweaty and shirtless. #MikesSecret
- Emily and her new lady-toy, Talia? Turns out she’s married… Talia even has her husband’s name as her emergency contact (which is normal but Ezra says it so flippantly that it’s like, duh, of course).
- Hanna’s having some trouble coming up with the funds for college, so she’s going to go to Daddy. Too bad Dad spent all his money on his stepdaughter to care about Hanna.
- Seriously, how come we never heard that Aria was so bad at school before? Is it because Ezra got the principal to change her grades or something? I mean, Andrew is tutoring her in every subject now.
- Ashley Marin told #PastorTed she’ll marry him, but she also told him about her cougar moment with Jason. So now he’s the one who “needs time to think.” Man, life ain’t easy for these Marin girls. But it’s great that they get through it all together.
- Okay, we’re not exactly Ezra fans, but it’s pretty sweet when he comforts Hanna after her dad letdown.
So is Mike a part of the A-team now? He’s delivering blood samples, he’s stalking, he’s working out shirtless. All we’re missing is a stash of black hoodies, don’t ya think? Next week’s episode looks like it has a little bit of B&E and a whole lot of #Spoby drama. Do you think they’ll break up? We’ll find out next week for an all-new episode.