'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of Lies

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of Lies
(ABC Family)

Hello, liArs! We’re so close to the Pretty Little Liars #fAtalFinAle (that word looks like when you used to write uP aNd DoWn in middle school, doesn’t it?), so we thought that we’d do some recapping to get you reAdy for the big event. This is the first season that’s featured Ali as a main character and not a flashback, so to prep for the finAle, we’re taking a look at Ali’s web of lies, from the end of Season 4 through last week’s penultimate season 5A episode. Note: We’re going back to last season’s finale because we’re starting to question nearly every word Ali’s ever uttered...and that includes last season’s info dump of a (possibly) tall tale.

Lie #1
What It Was: Ali, unable to confess anything in Rosewood or even the state of PA, drags the liArs to New York to tell them her tale: she found the NAT Club videos when she was in Hilton Head with Ian and downloaded them in order to blackmail the whole town. She also met with Toby, EzrA, Ian, and Byron before getting clonked on the head with a big rock and buried by her late mother.
Who She Told It To: Emily, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna
Why It Matters: This lie is the first lie that Ali tells when she comes back from the dead. It gives a little bit of insight into why she is such a skeeze all the time, and in it she admits that she was a giant b-tch to everyone, ever, which is sort of nice. This is the foundational lie of this Ali season, and it also ties together all of the other observations the girls have made about That Night. Though Ali omitted the argument with Garrett and JennA that Garrett told Spencer about on the Halloween train...hmm...
Is It True?: So far, so good.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #1.5
What It Was: Ali never hooked up...meaning, went all the way...with Ian or EzrA.
Who She Told It To: Emily, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna
Why It Matters: It paves the way for #Ezria to get back together because Ali didn’t “get there” first, and it gets the audience off the show’s back re: Ian (a 20-something) boning Ali (then 14). Ali didn’t mention Officer Wilden, though (which, gross, would make Ali and Ashley Eskimo sisters), who was also potentially involved with her That Summer.
Is It True?: We think so, but it also calls into question the whole “Ali and CeCe thought Ali was preggo-my-Eggo That Summer” thing. SOMEone was lying — but we don’t know if it was Ali or CeCe.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #2
What It Was: MonA found Ali, covered in dirt and bloody-headed, walking on the side of the road after The Grunwald dug Ali up, and then convinced Ali to dye her hair and go on the run for her own safety, thereby faking her own death.
Who She Told It To: Emily, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna
Why It Matters: It paints MonA once again as a villain/mastermind/the OG A. She had her Bates Motel lAir long before she started text-torturing the liArs in the pilot, and she used her insider knowledge about Ali and Ali’s “death” to get in with Hanna and become the new Queen Bee. Plus, the lie makes Ali look good — because it seems like she was duped by MonA into running away, leaving her loved ones to cry over her for months.
Is It True?: It seems like it so far. It makes sense for the MonA we know. But we’ve also yet to hear her corroborate the story.

Lie #3
What It Was: Ali declines to tell the liArs that CeCe just got the heck outta dodge, with the help of Ali and Noel Kahn. Eventually she lets Emily in on the secret.
Who She Told It To: Hanna, Spencer, Emily, and Aria
Why It Matters: This lie divides the liArs, since Emily gets to feel special-er than the other when she gets the truth, and it made us realize that CeCe 99% killed Officer Wilden. But why?
Is It True?: It’s a lie by omission, but we’re still suspicious.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #4

What It Was: Ali lies that she was kidnapped, held hostage for two-ish years, and eventually rescued by her liAr friends.
Who She Told It To: #HotCop (aka Detective Holbrook)...and later, Mr. DiLaurentis, Pam Fields, Ashley Marin, everyone at school...
Why It Matters: If the That Night lie is the foundational lie of the season, this one is the 15th floor. Instead of confessing everything she knows about A and letting all of the girls free, Ali takes everybody back to Planet Alison. With this honker of a lie, the girls won’t admit that they were in New York with Ali and have to go along with it. Back to the Old World Order.

Lie #5
What It Was: At the mausoleum in which her remains are not really buried, Ali says that the girl who was being revered in that tomb is gone and done — she won’t be that mean girl anymore. Also, she needs friends.
Who She Told It To: MonA
Why It Matters: Ali is trying to garner the sympathy vote with this one. But who will believe her?
Is It True?: Um, probably not. I think we all really wanted it to be, but all of her scheming and plotting so far this season sort of proves otherwise, no?

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #5.5
What It Was: Later, Ali tells the liArs she and MonA fought at a church, but that when MonA attacked her, she didn’t reciprocate.
Who She Told It To: Aria, Spencer, Hanna, and Emily
Why It Matters: Ali wins some sympathy from her BFFs and turns them against MonA anew with this lie. Then promptly loses it — even from Emily — when the lie is exposed.
Is It True?: Heck no. Though she’s provoked, Ali slaps the shiz outta MonA, which MonA tells the entire student body the next day at school.

Lie #6
What It Was: Not a full lie but a lie of omission. Hanna accompanies Ali to the doctor after she “gets un-kidnapped,” and both the doctor and Hanna notice a big wound on her leg. Ali is sketchy about the details, saying, “Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. I wish I could.”
Who She Told It To: Hanna
Why It Matters: This one is part sympathy, part adding to her own myth. Ali doesn’t want the liArs to know how she really got it (we’ll cover that in a second), so she goes ominous and vague, making it seem like she was sexually assaulted so people won’t ask questions.
Is It True?: Ali got the cut from Cyrus, the guy who she says abducted her (we will also cover that later), but it was because he was robbing her. He did not kidnap her and they were in a relationship.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #7
What It Was: Ali says that her kisses with Emily weren’t just for show or practice.
Who She Told It To: Emily
Why It Matters: Ali has been toying with Emily’s emotions all series long — Emily had real feelings for Ali before she disappeared, and now Ali is just yanking the chain again.
Is It True?: Probably not. Ali will say whatever she can to get people to do what she wants, so it is unlikely she actually loved Emily. We’re pretty sure Ali might be incapable of love.

Lie #8
What It Was: Don’t date Caleb, Hanna, because “I don’t trust him.”
Who She Told It To: Hanna
Why It Matters: This demand drove Hanna further away from Ali and plunged her deeper into the teenage drunkard deep end. Does Ali really not trust Caleb or does she just not want Hanna (or the liArs) having any other confidantes? Let’s not forget how left out Ali looked when the liArs were giggling over a TV show she’d never seen. Girl does not like being dethroned.
Is It True?: It may not be a lie, but it’s definitely unfounded. Caleb took a bullet for Emily while you were off playing hide-and-seek, Ali. We trust him.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #9
What It Was: After Ali and Ashley Marin were terrorized by a break-in, Ali tells the liArs that she arranged for Noel Kahn to do the breaking-in to get a reputable adult on her side and the cops off her back re: her faux-napping story.
Who She Told It To: Spencer and Emily (and then Hanna)
Why It Matters: It’s a possible lie in service of upholding another lie. Ali’s facial expressions are nearly impossible to read, so we’re not sure if the Noel thing is true or not. But it definitely got Ashley backing Ali’s bigger story AND it showed us what a total psycho Ali can be. As if we didn’t already know.
Is It True?: We’ve seen Noel helping Ali out a few times, and he wants insurance against her for when she inevitably turns on him — so we’re inclined to think he’d help out here, too. Whatever she has on him must be bAd.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of LiesLie #10

What It Was: When Cyrus appears on the scene to confess to killing Ali, she tells quite a few lies/maybe-not lies with regard to the scruffy stranger. First, she pretends she doesn’t know who this confessor dude is and tells the liArs she wants to follow him to find out who A is (since A is presumably behind it all).
Who She Told It To: Hanna, Spencer, Aria, and Emily
Why It Matters: This lie convinced the liArs - and us - that A is really pulling the strings and trying to mess with Ali, big time. It gets the liArs — and us — trying to figure out what A’s endgame is, and makes Ali more sympathetic to her friends (for about one second) as she frets over what A has planned and whether or not identifying the guy will help or hurt.
Is It True?: NO. See below.

Lie #11
What It Was: Then, she tells Emily she DID know Cyrus, way back when, that he robbed and stabbed her. And she says she wouldn’t ID him as the kidnapper, since, you know, she was never actually kidnapped. Then she IDs him to #BadCop.
Who She Told It To: Emily and #BadCop
Why It Matters: All it takes is a lie like this one to get Emily on anyone’s side, much less Ali’s. Em defends Ali to Spencer after this whopper, driving a mini-wedge between them, and then explodes on Ali once she hears that Ali actually did identify Cyrus.
Is It True?: This one’s half-true. Ali and Cyrus know each other, yes. From their runaway days? Yes. Were they in a hand-holding relationship? Maybe. Did he rob and stab her? Doubtful. Because we know Ali and she’d do more than use him for a fake confession if he stabbed her — she’d stab him right back. Not true? That Cyrus is the kidnapper.

'Pretty Little Liars' Pre-Finale Recap: Ali's Web of Lies
Lie #12
What It Was: Finally, in the Cyrus Chronicles, Ali blew our minds by revealing that yes, she knows Cyrus - and she orchestrated the entire confession situation!
Who She Told It To: Everyone and no one
Why It Matters: See above re: Noel Kahn/how messed up Ali is. But really, it matters because the liArs still don’t know this one is a lie — they’re convinced A is behind the Cyrus confession. Also notable? Ali busts out the Vivian Darkbloom brunette wig to meet Cyrus in the woods.
Is It True?: Sure, if Ali is A, then A is behind the Cyrus scheme. But if not, then no, this is a lie. Ali’s pulling the strings on this one.

Lie #13
What It Was: A liAr tells #BadCop that she’s finally ready to tell the truth. By process of elimination, we think that liAr is Ali.
Who She Told It To: #BadCop
Why It Matters: If Ali tells the real truth to the cops, the liArs are screwed because they’ll be outed as...liArs. If she tells another lie, the liArs might be stuck in her web forever.
Is It True?: We’ll find out tonight during the finAle!

What a lot of whoppers, huh, liArs fans? Ali lies more than she breathes and it’s made for a fantastic season. Be sure to leave any theories on what’s true and what’s false in the comments below, and tune in for the #fAtalFinAle tonight to catch more of Ali’s tall tales — or will she finally tell the truth? #BadCop seems to think so...but only time will tell. See you tonight, bitches! -A