'Pretty Little Liars' 4.15 Recap: ThAt's Where It's At

(ABC Family)

Who’s ready to discover what’s in Ali’s super-secret diary/”journal where she wrote things”? (Pro Tip, Han: It’s the same thing). This week, our liArs dive into the diary to dig up dirt about boArdshorts...and themselves. Let’s dig in, too.

Lindsay: So here’s a thought: what’s going to happen when the rest of the liArs find out that Emily and Ali were hook-up buddies? Not that they care that Ems is a lesbian, but won’t that throw off the group dynamic, don'tcha think? Either way, I’m so over Ali playing with Emily’s heart, whether in dreams or from beyond the grave. Cut the crap, you crazy blond biotch.

Jess: Ali’s midnight visit to Emily involves Ali trying to play the sympathy card, going on about how much she misses Em, and Em straight up shutting her down and yelling at her for disappearing and allowing her best friends to think she was dead. Ice cold, Fields. This is all while Ali’s diary sits between them, open to an entry about a “girl crush” (aka Emily). Ali looks at the journal, waxes poetic about the old days, and then takes notice of Emily’s beaded friendship bracelet (you know, from way back in the first season, when the liArs discovered Jenna had one, too, and that there were two “Alison” bracelets?). Em then jolts awake and it’s morning, but her bracelet is now in a jewelry box and the diary’s cover is closed, so it seems Ali really was there. Also important? Ali claims she saved Emily’s life, twice, and risked everything for her (and the others). I’m guessing she’s talking about when Emily was locked in the carbon monoxide garage and when all of the liArs were on fire. Not hallucinations, but real Ali sightings!

Lindsay: Let’s cut to school, where the girls are hashing out Ali’s diary (ahem, Hanna). Emily devises a very thorough, color-coded system to figure out just who Ali is talking about. As this is happening, #EzraIsWatching (thanks again, ABC Fam social media team!) as he hides behind a glass door. Because the girls are like Tyrannosaurus Rex: If you don’t move, they won’t see you, even if you’re standing right in front of them. Seems also that there’s something Hanna doesn’t want Aria to see in there — perhaps some girl-on-girl crime going on in there?

Jess: EzrA is also caught (at school, of course, because he only has, like, five other lAirs to use) listening to a recording of Alison pleading someone (him?) for help escaping. She says she needs “not to be Alison DiLaurentis anymore.” Color us curious. And when I say “caught,” by the way, I mean by us, the viewers, not anyone in the oblivious town of Rosewood. Even though Aria walked in on him listening to it (with headphones, but still) and had a whole “will-we-won’t-we” conversation with him before he went back to his computer. I’m way more intrigued by their relationship now that EzrA is A, but not any less grossed out by them or any less in love with #DojoHottie. EzrA also pays a house call to the Marin's to try and find the diary and ends up snooping on Hanna’s computer.

Lindsay: More big news: Hanna runs into #TravisTripp (aka the guy with the ten-gallon hat who told Hanna that he knew her mom was innocent in Wilden’s death) at the coffee shop, and he reveals that Cece was seen on a train in Maryland, but by the time the police got there, she was nowhere to be found — probably because she was on a giant piece of steel going very fast in the opposite direction of the cops. Why wouldn’t Cece go, um, farther away from Pennsylvania than Maryland? I’m not a geography genius, but it’s something to consider. TT also tells Hanna Banana that Cece was wired large sums of money leading up to Wilden’s death, so maybe someone hired her to kill him. The plot thickens.

Jess: How about this hilarious moment on the #LiarsRoadTrip: the liArs are trying to figure who “Suzy Clueless” is in Ali’s diary, and whomever it is doesn’t know her father is having an affair. Cue Spencer: “Eenie, meenie, miney, mo...it could be any one of us.” Seriously. No show has fathers doing shady shiz as much as PLL does. Anyway, they figure out the story’s about Aria, and Hanna starts looking more nervous than ever. She’s practically peeing her pants in anticipation. Spence notices that a page is ripped out from an entry about someone hooking up with a younger guy and gives Hanna the third degree about it. Turns out Hanna hooked up with Mike Montgomery?! THAT’S what she’s so nervous about? Girl, you guys have like ten million problems that are way more serious than smooching your best friend’s little bro. When she finally reveals it to the liArs, we get a sad #HeftyHanna flashback of Ali being a jerk, as usual, and Aria pretty much brushes the revelation off. We also learn that Ali made Mike keep the makeout sesh a secret, which means, you guessed it: yet another person being blackmailed by Ali with reason to fear/hate her. Not that I really think little Mikey is involved...but on this show, you never know.

Lindsay: Speaking of the #LiarsRoadTrip, the car (of course) breaks down (which we later learn that A facilitated via some fancy computer mumbo-jumbo, and that ish is creepy, too), and Emily comically looks at the engine just naming parts. Yeah right, Ems. TravisTripp will take two hours to pick them up, and then Aria’s all like “hey, there’s a cabin we can hang out in that’s nearby” and by “cabin” she means “love nest of doom”, aka the cabin EzrA took her to to like, reaffirm their love or whatever. Over it, Aria. Where is #DojoHottie when you need him, and, just a note to ABC Family’s social media team, why isn’t #CreepyLoveCabin a hashtag? You can all have that one for free. Next, we see EzrA skulking around the cabin, still trying to get at dat journal.

Jess: Which is when we come to the horror movie portion of the episode: Aria and Spencer are locked in the laundry room exactly 2.5 seconds after they enter it, and through the keyhole they see a guy in black walking around the main cabin room. Luckily, they pry open a window to shout for Em and Hanna, who are outside looking for cell service/avoiding talking about their relationship issues. Once all four liArs are reunited and all in the cabin, EzrA is gone and so is Ali’s journal. Dammit, girls. Haven’t you learned to keep evidence on your person at all times? The amount of vital information you’ve found and then lost is astounding. In the end, Emily and Aria get a text from A and realize that since A has all their diary notes (and the diary itself), they basically delivered Ali to him (if, in fact, she really is at the Busy Bee Inn). Ruh-roh.

Pretty Little Extras:
  • Lol @ Ashley saying she’ll cook Hanna eggs. You, lady who keeps sweaters in your stove just like Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe take all that lasagna box money and hire a cook.
  • Fitz and Aria may be perfect for each other, as his “I’m hiding behind a glass door” tie is covered in a little dogs or something. We bet Aria has the matching earrings.
  • You know what I’ve had enough of? Toby and Spencer’s sexy-talk about flan. Gag.
  • Loving Spencer’s Sherlock Holmes-esque trench/cape. She would have an outfit for every adventure.
  • Spencer’s dad tells her that he did more investigating, and it turns out Toby’s mom’s death wasn’t a suicide, but it wasn’t a murder, either. Cold, hard...accident. I’m so glad we wasted so much plot time on this, then.
  • In what school district in this country would a teacher be welcomed with open arms into a student’s home unannounced? Egregious.
  • Nice “this isn’t spring break” call-out (Ashley Benson was in that crazy Spring Breakers movie this year). #symmetry
  • Em finds a note, supposedly from Ali, in her backpack to meet at their special place. Of course Ali’s a no-show, and Em ends up leaving her beaded bracelet on the kissing rock.
  • When Spencer and her father have yet another throwdown about his connection to Mrs. DiLaurentis, Spence calls his bluff about protecting the family and moves into Toby’s loft for the time being. I bet she’s way too Type-A and it drives Toby crazy like, immediately.

There you have it, liArs. The girls may have handed Ali right over to A since they don’t know to keep valuables on their person at all times, and also because Aria insisted on going to her love shAck (hence the episode’s title). Oy vey. Next week, #DojoHottie stops by, so we have a feeling things will be heating up. Chat in the comments about why Ezra is such a skeeze, and we’ll see you here next week!