This week on PLL, the liArs are turning on one of their own — if Ali was ever really “one of their own,” that is — and starting to dig into Ali’s lies (especially re: Cyrus), while Caleb and Toby bro out like old times and Paige dresses up like she’s about to sing “Summer Nights.” And we’re here to recap it for you — all in a week’s work, PLL fans! Let’s get to it.
Lindsay: “Act normal, bitches.” This is A’s demand to the liArs at the very start of the episode as the liArs are about to confess to the police that Ali is crAzy. The girls are obviously shaken, but Spencer most of all. Emily tries to comfort her with whipped cream and decaf coffee, but neither of them really know what to do with this mess now. Don’t worry, girls — we don’t, either. Do we trust Ali? Or do we not? (I don’t).
Jess: I don’t either. The real message to the liArs was “We’re all in this together” (superimposed over a photo of Ali visiting Hanna in the hospital after #CampMonA), which sounds like it could be a message from A OR Ali - aka “Don’t rat me out, bitches.” Emily and Hanna both come to the same conclusion. The liArs are all ignoring Ali this week, and she’s conveniently out of town with her father for nearly the entire episode. Hanna thinks (in her second “bad thought” of the episode) that Ali may have made a deal with someone - an A someone - to skip town, like she did with MonA way back when.
Lindsay: I love Toby and Spencer because Toby always knows what’s going on. Spencer gingerly tries to get Toby to talk to Caleb about his drinking (she’s Jedi mind tricking him — I know it because I do it, okay?), and he’s basically like it’s not drinking, it’s Ravenswood, he’s haunted yadda yadda. I am instantly bored when they talk about Ravenswood. I hope they get this storyline over with fast. Anyway, Spoby and Haleb meet up and Toby is all, "Hey man, heard you can’t sleep, what’s up with that?" and of course, Caleb feels cornered. Wouldn’t you? And Toby is like, “Hey, what about Ravenswood?” And Caleb is all, “eff off, man,” and Toby goes, “what you are drinking away?” Toby could be a therapist, y’all. We think he’s close to getting Caleb to admit what’s going on in Ravenswood, but Caleb runs off. Hanna catches him later and pleads for him to talk to her. And, UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE VIEWERS, he does. Jess and I did like, an exercise tape or went to our happy places or whatever during this, so we can’t help you here. That’s how much we hated it. It sounded a lot like Smith Jerrod’s speech during his full-frontal play in Sex and the City (the rain...it fell...soft...and then hard…). He’s all like “ghosts are real and people die and fireflies” and then a million fireflies appear. Whatever.
Jess: #BadCop Tanner is hot on the liArs’ trail this week, cornering Aria, Hanna, and Em on the street and telling them that she’s trying to catch Cyrus and that they should all report anything out of the ordinary. She turns to go, but then drops the mic: “Who do you think killed Bethany Young?” #BadCop is mighty suspicious of the liArs’ proximity to Bethany Young’s murdering in Ali’s yard That Night. Turns out, so is MelissA! Yes, we finally hear MelissA’s secret and it’s b-a-n-a-n-a-s. Here’s what she tells Spence, via video: I saw you That Night, with the shovel. Then I saw Ali, dead on the ground. I thought you did it so I pushed her in the hole and buried her. But now I know it wasn’t Ali and she wasn’t dead — I buried a girl alive to protect you. Uh, whoa.
Is MelissA telling the truth? Is she the most loyal big sis on the planet? In her flashback, we don’t see the shoveled girl’s face, so it could be Bethany. If so, why was Bethany wearing the same outfit as Ali? Jason once flashbacked to seeing CeCe on That Night, too, and she was also wearing that ugly yellow top. Of course, he’s an unreliable narrator because he was always high on all the weed in the world. If MelissA’s wrong and she did bury Ali, not Bethany, then why did Ali lie about her mommy dearest burying her? I have so. Many. Questions. So does Spencer, who doesn’t know what to do with this info download. She just watches the recording over and over again (once with Aria and Emily). But she turns her brain back on right quick and also questions the duplicate Ali clothing. Spencer Hastings is my spirit animal.
Lindsay: The movie that the Montgomery family goes to see is Strangers on a Train, a film in which two strangers meet on a train and decide to kill a person that the other wants dead. Because they have no ties to one another, they surmise that the police will never find out who killed anyone. The writers of Pretty Little Liars are no Mad Men writers, but this is definitely going to mean something to the story. Ella couldn’t join the fam at the movie theater, so guess who tags along? MonA, dressed like a 1950s pinup girl with ice cream earrings (to match the ice cream sweater she had on in an earlier scene?). During one of the murders (in the movie), Aria whispers something to MonA that makes her go white as a ghost and leave. Hmm, what could Aria have said? Sounds like something about how she’s not good enough for Mike and that Byron should hate her. In the bathroom, MonA tells Aria that she knows bits and pieces of what happened in New York and to watch her back (#MonasWarning). I feel for MonA a bit here, because she asks if Mike really likes her. I think he does, for the record. Also at the movie? Paige, dressed as Sandy from Grease, on a date with another lady. Let it be known that this is the only case in which Aria is not the one dressed weird. I’m shocked.
Jess: For the record, I’m with MonA here — I have no trouble imagining Ali turning on the liArs, if she hasn’t already. Em seems to think Ali’s fully crossed over. After she asks EzrA to do some research on Cyrus and he produces a surveillance photo of Ali and Cyrus together at an ATM. Em immediately figures out that Ali’s probably the one who got Cyrus to “confess.” EzrA seems surprised at the thought, but Em basically just rolls her eyes and is like, “Yeah, that’s Ali.” I see why you want Paige back, Emily. Em also “mistakenly” calls Ali “A” when she, Spencer, and Aria are debating which “truth” Ali’s going to tell the cops this time. Yeah, that’s right, Ali’s apparently going to the cops in the morning. #BadCop pays Byron Montgomery a visit (and he calls her out for her shoddy police work) and tells him that when a homicide investigation gets more complicated as you work it, that means someone very smart is stacking the deck, but that, luckily for her, one of the liArs has come forward to tell the truth. Not Spencer, not Aria, not Hanna, not Emily...so, Ali. Duh. Can’t wait to see what she has up her sleeve this time - and, real talk, do we think she’s A?
- Why is Spencer dressed like Sherlock Holmes? I (Lindsay) admittedly have been looking for a trench vest (does anyone know where I can get one?), but Spencer is way too buttoned up for police confessing.
- We also buy coffee for the whipped cream, Emily. Good call.
- EzrA keeps his bicycle in his apartment like a true small-space dweller. Appreciate that.
- Aria, what are you wearing? That fringey cougar t-shirt and a scuba circle skirt with lightning printed all over it? What?
- “Do I call you Officer Toby or Cadet Toby?” says Spencer right before she asks Toby to come over to “talk.” She actually does want to talk (about Caleb) but after an intro like that, Toby probably thinks she means...something sexier.
- “Nobody tells you anything when you want to know it.” - Aria, wise as ever.
- The wardrobe department at PLL is dressing Shay Mitchell in Serena Van Der Woodsen-esque cleavage rhombus dresses. With sport socks. Oh boy.
- “There is a point when you go from survivor to predator.” - Melissa, who’s on her way back to England. We’ll miss you, Mel.
Next week is the mid-season finAle, liArs! Are you as excited as we are? Who do you hope dies? We hope it’s Ravenswood, once and for all. Put your suggestion of who gets A-xed in the comments below, and we’ll see you next week for the #fAtalFinale.