'Pretty Little Liars' Season 4, Episode 14 Recap: The Strange Case of Ali & Mr. Fitz

(ABC Family)

When we last visited with our pretty little liArs, our girls were running amok in Ravenswood with EzrA not far behind, they had actual contact with the decidedly un-dead Ali, Caleb departed our dear show to live in the Ghost Town from Hell, and oh, so much more. So what’s up now? Read on to find out!

Jess: Hanna is on a roll this week! She just might be the new Spencer...and even Spencer seems to think so. Except for that moment when Han pronounces “gazebo” as “GAZEbow.” Oh, Hanna. Never change. But really, she’s cracking cases left and right, first positing that the liArs should figure out who’s actually in Ali’s crypt, actually taking the steps to research girls who went missing around the same time as Ali (using the computer without Caleb’s help and finding one girl named Sara), and then literally cracking open the diary she stole from A’s lAir. Turns out the diary contains a lot of smack-talking on Ali’s part about her nearest and dearest: the liArs.

When Han sets up a meeting with Sara’s friends, though, she’s shocked to hear that Emily is not at all interested in attending. Because Em is PISSED now that she knows Ali’s been alive this whole time and keeping it from her BFFs (and on-and-off make-out buddy, Em herself). Hanna convinces Em, and after they do meet Sara’s friends (Claire and Tina), they realize that the dates don’t match up; Sara was seen by a friend after the DiLaurentis family poured the cement over their GAZEbow, which means she couldn’t have been buried there in Ali’s place. Sara also seems to have been a clone of Ali: poised, pretty, and a controlling Mean Girl. Emily and Claire bond over these similarities in a late night coffee sesh, and Claire is jealous that the liArs have the closure of Ali being confirmed dead. But, oops, they don’t really have that, and it’s written all over Em’s face. It gives Emily the strength to start to let Ali go, however, which she does after confessing to Paige that once upon a time, Ali broke her heart.

Lindsay: Crazy Mama D still changes the sheets in Ali’s bed to “keep her room from getting musty”, which is sweet in a “we haven’t moved on” sort of way. Emily asks Mrs. D about Jason, since the liArs think that maybe he knows his sister is not sealed in a mausoleum, and Jason is Kerouac-ing his way across the country. Very beat, Jason. He can be reached “in case of emergency”, which means he can’t be reached. No news is good news, liArs, right?

Jess: Spencer doesn’t agree, and lays the guilt on her father (also Jason’s father, if you’ll recall) to help her find Jason. He tells her to eff off (the Hastings family is so gentle with one another) but agrees to help her if she’ll agree to leave Mrs. D alone for good. Spencer takes the deal, but that is totes not happening. Or maybe it will, if she continues to be distracted by smooching Toby and his porcupine hair and helping him twist the arm of the pharmaceutical company that owns Radley so they admit that Toby’s mama’s suicide was a non-suicide cover up. When Mr. Hastings gets wind of his daughter’s mini-lawyering, he’s impressed but counters that there must be more going on beneath the surface...and exposing it could probably get Radley shut down for good. Toby looks excited by this prospect, but Spencer looks terrified at the thought. Planning another stay there, Spence? No, she’s just suspicious that her father has something of his own to bury re: the Radley Creephouse.

Lindsay: So, EzrA is a teacher, guys. Remember? He’s not just a maniac with a gas mask on. And guess what book he’s teaching. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Way to make it all crazy literal, Pretty Little Liars. He keeps Aria after class and basically asks that, after graduation, she take him back. He “wants to be the man she wants him to be”, or something The Bachelor-esque like that. Now that he knows that Malcolm isn’t his, he’s all “wait everything can go back the way it was lol I’m not a murderer promise tho.” Later, he takes Aria to a cabin with “no cell service and no Internet”, and then tells her that they can have the cabin together. It could “be [their] secret” (“That’s what pedophiles say, just saying.” - Jess). Then they smooch, which, we’re so tired of this there’s nothing even to say, except BARF. Then he STARES at her from bed in the afterglow (They’re really upping the creep factor on this dude, huh?). Aria, where is #DojoHottie? I am not a fan of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, either (where #DojoHottie is currently), but there have to be other men in Rosewood besides a pedophile/murderer.

And speaking of “murderer”, MonA sees EzrA outside of school and basically corners him and tells him in no certain terms that she knows that he is A, and he goes on an equally tangential speech about how you can only push someone so far before they push back. MonA scurries away, but we all know that she’s just planning her next move. Also, ABCFamily social media, if you’re out there: we loved #MonaKnows.

Jess: It’s kind of glossed over during the episode, because the liArs don’t seem to take it seriously, but the girls get a message from A in the form of a video primer from the 1950s about how school will teach you to be a good citizen (too bad no one in Rosewood ever takes school seriously). The message says: “Ali, Ali, oxen-free! Whoever finds her, gets to keep her. Kisses, A.” So...there’s now officially a hunt for Ali, just like there always has been and always will be? K, cool, thanks for throwing down the gauntlet, A. Not your best work.

Odds N’ Ends:
  • Toby’s hair has gone full Jimmy Neutron since he’s come back. Maybe he’s like Samson: he’s strongest when his hair is longest.
  • Paige and Emily are dressed in similar sport jersey-esque tops, giving a nod to their orientation and overall sportiness. Oddly, Em pairs hers with a bodycon mini, which makes her bottom half look like it’s about to step to da club.
  • Mona’s cutout outfit is almost at Serena Van Der Woodsen levels of Cleavage Rhombus
  • Caleb comes back (yay!) and then tells Hanna he has to leave (nay!). Why is there so little mancandy in this episode? It’s a very tearful goodbye. Please don’t leave, Caleb. We love you, too.
  • Claire has to be the Aria of her group of friends because she is wearing pineapples in her ears.
  • Ashley Marin is now working for Mrs. D, and we’re so sure that’ll turn out well.
  • Shauna sold JennA’s car to MonA, so that wraps up at least one storyline of the five million open-ended ones.
  • Emily kinda sorta thinks Ali is A, and has been playing games this whole time. Not a bad theory.

Next week’s preview shows a black-gloved man looking under the floorboards in EzrA’s cabin. What’s under there, liArs? A body? Buried treasure? The Tell-Tale Heart (totally the next work EzrA teaches)? You hash it out in the comments below, and we’ll be seeing you next week.