Drake's 6-Step Recovery Process After Having His Mouth Violated by Madonna

It's hard to know how a person is going to react after having his or her tonsils assaulted by Madonna's tongue. Warren Beatty ended up dating her. Britney Spears ended up shaving her head and attacking SUVs with umbrellas. And most recently, Drake... well, Drake did this:

In her ongoing attempt to keep up with the cool kids, Madonna went for a big-time makeout sesh during Drake's Coachella set, and, clearly, Drake was not expecting that level of oral invasion. His face says everything you need to know: 

I believe his exact words were, "Holy s--t, what the f--k was that?"

How does someone recover from that? Well, we're here to help Drake with a six-point coping plan:

1. Expunge all Madonna remnants.

2. Mouthwash. So much mouthwash.

3. Take a nice long cry shower.

Where do the tears end and the water begin?

4. Attempt self-induced amnesia techniques.

5. Contemplate how darkly premonitory your album titles have been. 

6. Try and get some sleep.

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