'Glee' Recap: Ghosts of Glee Club Past

The whole gang's here...possibly for the last time ever! Oh noes! (FOX)The NYC gang travels back to McKinley for the 100th Episode end of the glee club. With the help of a couple faculty guest stars and a lot of fun meta mentions, they perform some of their greatest hits from shows past and immediately start acting like high schoolers again! (Because that's what reunions are for, right?) 

You'll Get By With A Little Help From Your Friends
What now?
In the wake of their second-place performance at Nationals, it's dire straits at McKinley with the impending closure of the glee club. Luckily, they have an unexpected guardian angel on their side, April Rhodes (Kristin Chenoweth). Apparently she never went to rehab after all, but she did find herself a mysterious benefactor who bought her an island and provided her with a lot of cool cash and wacky sexcapades that she inappropriately shares with the young minds of Lima. Unfortunately, Sue rains on everyone's parade when she reveals that April's money (which previously paid for the school auditorium way back in Season Two) has actually dried up, so it's curtains (again? still?) for the Glee Club.  She calls in yet another former guest star to surprise the club, Holly Holiday (Gwyneth Paltrow) and after Will speechifies movingly about how much the club has been a second family to all of them, the women vow to save the club (in next week's conclusion of this two-parter.)
Song-and-dance numbers:
April and Will do dorky dance moves and perform Pink's "Raise Your Glass" with all the kids. Plus, GOOP don't do used, friends — so she performs the one non-redux of the episode, Pharrell's "Happy." 
Yeah, but how offensive is it?
April taught Tina how to steal meat in her vajayjay, remember? She's always a bit offensive, all too willing to corrupt today's youth. But otherwise...even GOOP is tolerable when the Gleeks need saving.

Anything You Can Diva, I Can Diva Better

What now? Since he's lucky enough to get pretty much all his favorite students back (sorry silent football player Matt, we hardly knew ye), Will decides to immediately pit them against each other! Everyone must inexplicably vote on who is the bigger diva, Rachel or Mercedes. But it's all torpedoed by Santana with a epic rant of high school proportions about how terrible Rachel is of course. It's just like old times...and current times too, apparently, as Rachel bawls in the bathroom. Mercedes comes in to prop her up and tell her how great she is and illustrate that friendly competition is better than unfriendly competition (or something). They decide to call off the vote, but it's too late. The ballots are in...and they tied.
Song-and-dance numbers: Rachel and Mercedes duke it out on Wicked's "Defying Gravity" (though they toss Kurt a bone and let him sing a little of it too). Ain't none of 'em hitting that High F. like Adele Dazeem did though. Never forget! Not wanting to be shown up however, Santana shoves Brittany and Quinn into their old Cheerio uniforms for a Chicago (the musical)-inspired take on Britney Spears' "Toxic".
Yeah, but how offensive is it? Did you miss the part about how Mercedes always has to be telling these white girls how much better and more talented they are?

Repeat Performances
What Now?
Both Brittany and Quinn have new lives that are just hiding the light of their old, true selves. Brittany's "colleagues at MIT" have her trapped like a monkey and answering mathematical queries around the clock thanks to her savant-like skills (I know.... just go with it.) And Quinn's got a new rich prepster boyfriend, Biff MacIntosh (heh) who knows nothing about her, not even the fact that she was a hair's breadth away from being on MTV's Teen Mom or that Ryan Seacrest tramp stamp she has. She wants to keep it that way because she thinks his money means she'll be set for life (Really? They should've done a "Goldigger" reprise.) He's a total tool to boot. Luckily, Santana and Puck respectively set out to remind the blondes who they really are. Kissing ensues.
Song-and-dance numbers: Clad in his pristine Navy dress blues, Puck (first Logan Echolls, now this?!) serenades Quinn with a guitar solo version of Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On."  Santana helps Brittany remember how much she loved to dance, with an assist from Mike Chang, on The Zutons' "Valerie" and it's pretty awesome. Heather Morris and Harry Shum, Jr. still can get it, folks.  
Yeah, but how offensive is it? It's hard to get pressed when "Fondue for Two" makes a triumphant return and Puck gets to toss a douchebag in a dumpster, but...Biff really takes douchebaggery to new levels. It's pretty gross to watch Quinn beg to save his misogynistic ass (Q, the dude just called you a "dirty little slutbag!" Have some pride!)

Next week, the party keeps on keeping on, with the cast performing more popular reprises of fan favorites. Will the Gleeks and Friends succeed in saving their club? Post your predictions in the comments.