'The Vampire Diaries' Recap: Nothing Good Comes Out of a Corn Maze

'The Vampire Diaries' Recap: Nothing Good Comes Out of a Corn Maze
The CWIn "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here," The Vampire Diaries reminds us of two important truths:

1. No party on this show has ever ended in anything other than death.
2. There is always a party.

At least the corn maze party manages only one death -- and that one death is balanced out by the miraculous return of Damon Salvatore.

Enter the Corn Maze of Inevitable Doom
Just because those crazy undead kids of The Vampire Diaries aren't hanging out in Mystic Falls anymore, that doesn't mean they can't continue that town's grand tradition of partying at the drop of a hat. This week's party has something to do with Homecoming and involves a corn maze.

Why a corn maze? It is somehow derived from a depressing story of sibling rivalry and infidelity and ghosts and things like that. Yay?

Whatever its origins, the actual corn maze party seems to consist mostly of people flirting and drinking. Elena and Liam have a great time doing these things, and even Alaric and Hot Doc (whose name will be learned at some point) seem vaguely happy.

Obviously this can't last. And The Vampire Diaries has Tyler Lockwood to make sure that the good times end sooner rather than later.

But it's not exactly Tyler's fault this time. Sure, he's answering a text, but the random guy who leaps out in front of the truck has only himself to blame. His eventual death will be earned, unlike all those poor people trying to party in the corn field.

Fortunately, the corn maze has more than ghosts and scarecrows in it. There are also several medically minded people and a couple of vampires. Between vamp blood transfusions, emergency tracheotomies, and doctors who don't notice their significant others practically panting at the sight of blood, no one actually dies in the field.

The story is a little different off in a ditch where Tyler's truck has come to rest. He realizes that his crash victim is doomed and understandably freaks out a little about that annoying little family curse. Remember, Tyler never much liked being a werewolf.

Liv is the one who comes to Tyler's rescue this time. When it becomes clear that the bleeding guy isn't going to make it, the witch suffocates him. This means that she is the killer -- not Tyler.

The resulting combination of guilt and gratitude between these two means a relationship is pretty much certain.

Speaking of relationships, Alaric isn't getting out of his with Hot Doc too easily. Even when the vampire compels his lady to dump him, she remains interested. Hmmm...all is not what it seems with Hot Doc!

Ivy Sucks
The big twist at the end of the previous episode was that Stefan's girlfriend Ivy got turned into a vampire. In this episode, everyone has to deal with what that means.

Ivy, as it turns out, is a pretty fun vampire. She is also really, really bad at it. The combination? Comedy gold -- especially when Stefan dumps his newly undead girlfriend on Caroline.

Even though we do not get to see these two perky vamps play Scrabble or come to terms with Caroline's feelings for Stefan, the stage has definitely been set for a new and exciting Vampire Diaries duo.

That is, the stage is set if Tripp doesn't kill Ivy first. Her death is definitely a possibility after she flags down the wrong van while walking down a dark road. Hopefully, the others will save her quickly -- not only would losing Ivy be a sad loss, but she will totally spill the beans on all the other vampires.

Zimas Are Tasty
Remember Zima? Those were tasty alcoholic beverages back in the '90s. You don't see them around so much these days, which really is a shame.

The booze might be one of the only redeeming features of the perpetual 1994 that has been holding Damon and Bonnie throughout the early episodes of this season. Chi certainly isn't a plus, what with his love of pagers and murderous tendencies.

No one has to deal with him much though, since Bonnie kills the psycho fairly early on. She has realized, after all, that she doesn't need Chi to perform the spell that will get them out of their strange purgatory. All she needs is Chi's little toy and an eclipse.

Unfortunately for the plan, it's rather impossible to kill Chi in his own personal Hell. He comes back from the not-dead just in time to stop Damon and Bonnie from leaving, injuring Bonnie in the process. But Bonnie is nothing if not selfless, and she allows Damon to escape while she remains bleeding with the serial killer.

Poor Bonnie.

As for Damon, he's out. His timing is great too, since Stefan has gone to the Salvatore crypt to talk to the air about how much he misses Damon. The younger Salvatore even tosses a bottle of whiskey at nothing just at the moment when Damon reappears to catch it. Is it the magic of Zima or the lure of bourbon at work here?

Whatever booze is most responsible for this, the Salvatore brothers end the episode by hugging it out.
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