'Glee' Recap: My Kind of Town

Blaine is so glad he gave Sam that Flowbee for graduation! (FOX)

Glee is dead! Long live Glee! Or at least, the show as we knew it is no more. They really did close up shop last week at McKinley, and from now on, it's I'll Take Manhattan all the time. Blaine, Sam and Artie are the lucky Hunger Game victors McKinley alums who have joined Rachel and Kurt (Santana's on vacation) in the City, ready to take a good-sized chomp out of the Big Apple .

What Now? A diva's been born, y'all. Despite her show still being in rehearsals (not even previews!), Rachel's now a full-fledged staaah. (You can tell because she wears a lot of jaunty hats.) Yup. Her producer has arranged for her to have a town car at her beck and call, like all Broadways ingenues do. (Sutton Foster's probably laughing herself silly if she's watching at home.) But just when her ego threatens to knock out a footlight or two, Rachel realizes that closing herself off from the huddled masses of pedestrians is not cool. So back out into the stream of humanity she goes and all of this is just so she can cap off the episode with a lovely center-stage rendition of...
Song and dance numbers:  ..."People" from Funny Girl. (Her jaunty hat-pinning skills are also tested when she sticks her head out the car window to belt Petula Clark's "Downtown".)
Yeah, but how offensive is it? Eh, it's not. At least once a season, the powers that be decide to make Rachel a complete diva, so it feels pretty old hat. (Pun intended.) But the diva-tude is blessedly short-lived.

What Now? Kurt and Blaine are in looooove. Sickening breakfast-in-bed-having, dancing-around- the-kitchen love. They reassure themselves they're not turning into an old married couple now that they're co-habitating by dueting on a little Sinatra (because he's so young and hip!). But Blaine gets smothery which results in bad things like mime classes with clunking metaphors ("You're trapped with the person next to you in a box!") and bedbug infestations (eww!). Luckily, they have their own personal Yoda to dispense wisdom and talk them off the ledge with peppy musical numbers in the form of Adam Lambert. And--surprise--Blaine decides to move out to protect their relationship. This bodes real well for their engagement, eh?
Song and dance numbers:
The boys waltz to "You Make Me Feel So Young," and Kurt and Elliott rock out on A Great Big World's "Rockstar" in the guitar shop. Complete with backup band.  
Yeah, but how offensive is it? Let's face it, Kurt hasn't been feeling this relationship in ages. It's time to end this charade and go make beautiful music with Elliott full-time, Hummel!

What Now? The cruel city is just that for Artie. There are many challenges to taking Manhattan on wheels. A guy on crutches even steals his laptop bag. But things turn around when he and Rachel turn into an awesome crime-fighting duo (with mace!), and it doesn't dent his love for the Big Apple at all.
Song and dance numbers: He and Rachel duet on another Petula classic, "Don't Sleep in the Subway," on the most well-choreographed MTA car to ever hurtle through Times Square.
Yeah, but how offensive is it? It's pretty sucky that his friends are so obtuse to his struggles at first, just blithely telling Artie to wheel it to a restaurant while they pile in the town car, but Rachel at least makes up for it later. 

What Now? Sam is miserable in New York, spending all his time playing video games on Kurt's couch and not getting any modeling gigs. But Blaine pep-talks him and he decides a change is needed: he finally cuts his greasy mop! He also gets his own apartment (with what money?), which comes complete with a hot blond girl named...Sam. But oh no, she's totally hooked on prescription meds and wants to turn him into a pill-popper too, so he retreats to the couch. It's getting pretty crowded in the loft...and then....Mercedes shows up, too! She rents a two-bedroom apartment (so at least someone's raking it in) and conveniently offers to let Blaine and Sam go sharesies with her. 
Song and dance numbers: Blaine and Sam sing and bop to American Authors' "Best Day of My Life" in the middle of Times Square. Sadly, there is no Naked Cowboy cameo.
Yeah, but how offensive is it? How are these broke-ass college kids affording a Sodastream?

Are you psyched about the move to New York? Who else should have relocated? Tell us in the comments.