In the penultimate episode of season 5, we get a Mike Montgomery appearance, Ali gets a verdict, and Caleb and EzrA (Cazra? Ezleb?) have an encounter with Rosewood’s Katniss Everdeen (aka an A who likes archery). Let’s recap!
Jess: We kick off with things getting really real this week, with Perd Hapley from Pawnee, IN and PLL author Sara Shepard acting as newscasters talking about Ali’s case — and the surprise witness the prosecution is calling to the stand, who turns out to be none other than MonA’s random friend Lesli! She testifies about a letter she received from MonA a few weeks before Thanksgiving that claimed Ali threatened MonA...with death...if she told anyone about the fake kidnapping. She cries, and throws Ali, Mike, and Hanna under the bus.
Lindsay: Obvs, the liars are rattled by Lesli (why does she spell her name that way?), and the girls come up with a very smart five-way phone call to discuss the matter at hand. Neither Ali nor Hanna nor Mike (whom Lesli also dragged through the mud) even knows Lesli (she doesn’t even go here), so they hash it out until the prisoners get kicked off the phone. Later, at their house, Aria and Mike talk and Aria tells Mike to keep his stinkin’ mouth shut if he is subpoenaed, lest he end up like Mona or Hanna. Mike is all, “but I could have kept Mona alive!” which, nah, I don’t think you could have. To further drive the point home, A leaves a giant cow tongue with a knife through it on the porch. Do you get it now, Mike? Loose lips sink ships.
Jess: And loose tongues...make a great dinner at the Montgomery household, I guess. While A is all about threatening people not speaking out, Ali and Hanna are going old school in prison, resorting to passing notes like they’re in “homeroom detention” (to quote Ali’s lawyer). First of all, homeroom and detention are two totally different things, lady. Second of all, Ali and Hanna meet up to pass notes about the riddles Spencer found in MonA’s mirror. Since the correctional facility runs a tight ship, they have to resort to injuring themselves to get sent to the infirmary to chat more. Looks fun! Not. Plus, Ali’s lawyer confiscates their note. BOO.
Lindsay: In relationship news, Aria asks Ezra for help in getting Mike out of town, and when Andrew hears about it, he’s all “why didn’t you ask me for help? You don’t need a teaching degree for that!” blah blah blah. Listen, Andrew. You’re cute and all, but this stalker thing isn’t a good look for you. You don’t own Aria, bro. Later, Andrew gets even shiftier looking when he reveals that he was a model Pathfinder (PLL’s version of the Boy Scouts). This is shifty because Mike, EzrA, and Caleb were terrorized at a Pathfinder camp by A! Dunh dunh dunh!
Jess: So EzrA takes Mike on a road trip, and while Mike’s trying to be all protective and ask EzrA about how many times Aria’s been up to the cabin (you don’t wanna know about all the creepy chickpeas, Mikey), Caleb is hiding out in the cabin in the dark like the bogeyman. It’s hilarious as all hell when EzrA turns on the lights and the war for Mike Montgomery’s soul begins. In summation, EzrA is privileged and rich and thinks Mike should hide out 4ever, and Caleb had a hard knock life and thinks Mike needs to grow up, face his problems, and tell the truth to the cops. While they fight about it, Mike steals EzrA’s car and drives off.
Lindsay: Mike, like any good teen on a joyride, effectively ditches the car. When Ezra and Caleb find it, there’s an arrow through the windshield, and no Mike to be found. Um, what? When they get out of the car to investigate, someone shoots arrows at Ezra and Caleb. They are such a subpar team compared to Toby and Caleb, geez. Mike is running, and he gets PEPPER-SPRAYED IN THE FACE. WHAT? A (or someone who looks like A) then hogties Mike up to the tetherball court. Again, what?! When Ezra and Caleb find him, Caleb snaps a pic because he says it’s proof that someone is out to get them. Unfortunately, this backfires, because when they all go to report it to Detective Tanner, she says it’s a weird reaction to take a photo of your friend when he’s been tied up. Caleb screams and yells, and so did I, because I don’t understand how anything works in this town.
Jess: And in trial news, the liArs corner a girl named Kendra in the hallway because she has a scrap of fabric hanging out of her backpack that matches the description of a jacket Ali saw poking out of a cement tunnel when she was “waiting for Cyrus” at a playground the day MonA was murdered. Kendra was there, but she was high off her a$$ and is therefore an unreliable witness. Fortunately — sort of — Ali’s lawyer has decided she’ll take the stand! But it’s pretty uneventful when she does, as the main point is the lawyer trying to prove that Ali’s right arm is weak because of a childhood injury, and so she couldn’t have thrown MonA against a wall. The prosecution digs up an archery award Ali “won” (really, she rigged the competition) at camp to disprove the bum arm theory. And so...
Lindsay: Ali is convicted of first-degree murder, and Emily, Spencer, and Aria are arrested by Detective Tanner. Boy, oh, boy, is this getting interesting.
Pretty Little Prison Stripes:
- Aria says, “Mom put your dinner in the fridge” to Mike and later Ella shows up in the living room, but since when is Ella living in that home? Confuzzled.
- Caleb proves once again that his “best boyfriend” essence should be bottled with his sweet speech to Hanna during visiting hours.
- Ella suggests “something from Hamlet” for Aria’s senior yearbook quote. LOL DUH.
- “You’d be surprised what people confide to their favorite teachers...or maybe you wouldn’t.” - Sick burn from Ella Montgomery to her own daughter!
- On the #Spoby front, Spencer tells Emily about her two non-Toby kisses and it’s a touching scene between the two of them. Later, Toby tells Spencer he’s willing to put it all on the line for her — aka, tell Tanner that if she’s not cool with him being on the force and dating Spencer, she’ll have to kick him out — and they kiss, too!
- A tag this week: A playing with 5 little prisoner dolls, a castle with a moat, a red rose corsage (the kind you pin on) and a tuxedo. So...prom + jail? Jail prom? Who knows?
All of the liars are now in the slammer! What does it all mean? Will they have to lean on their manfriends to bail them all out? If so, are they screwed? Will they even get out of jail? We’ll find out next week on the season finale of Pretty Little Liars!