10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This Halloween

Halloween is this Friday, which means if you're the procrastinating type, you have only a few days to pull a costume together. At this point it's too late to order anything online and the specialty stores will be completely picked over, which means it's the homemade route. That can be a great thing; it really frees up the creativity. But if you're tempted to go topical, let us save you any potential awkwardness and embarrassment by providing a list of costumes that'll only make you look like a jerk. Consider this a public service announcement on what NOT to wear this Halloween.

1. Anything in Blackface
10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "I can do this because I'm NOT being racist. It's a tribute to the character."
What it actually says about you: "I know nothing about how the world works for other people."
An alternative: Whatever you were going to be, just be that without painting your face like a minstrel performer from the '20s.

2. Anything Ebola Related10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "I read the news AND have a sense of humor."
What it actually says about you: "I don't read the news, because if I did, I'd know this was a dumb idea."
An alternative: Go as the guys from Breaking Bad and you still get to wear a hazmat suit.

3. Ray Rice
10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "I'm the kind of guy who goes there, bro. High five!"
What it actually says about you: "Beating women is funny, am I right?" (No.)
An alternative: How about Roger Goodell walking around with one of those walking sticks for blind people?
(Not an alternative): Adrian Peterson with a switch.

4. Stephen Collins 10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "Being twisted is just my sense of humor."
What it actually says about you: "Last year, I got to go as Jerry Sandusky. Thank you for keeping up the costume inspiration, pedophiles."
An alternative: You'd get the same basic vibe if you just went as a pile of garbage.

5. ISIS Terrorists 10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "Look how edgy I can be."
What it actually says about you: "I have no soul."
An alternative: Go as a patient... to a therapist... a real one. You need help.

6. Former Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "Racism is funny."
What it actually says about you: "Racism is funny, right, you guys?" [Everyone looks away awkwardly.]
An alternative: Go as a turd. Same difference.

7. Anything Related to Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "Get it? Tell me you get it."
What it actually says about you: "For me, other people's tragedy makes a great punchline."
An alternative: A character from Lost. Keep it make-believe.

8. Any Recently Deceased Celebrity in Their Death Throes Robin Williams RememberedWhat you think it says about you: "What has two thumbs and doesn't give a damn? This guy!"
What it actually says about you: "What has two thumbs and not an ounce of sympathy? This guy!"
An alternative: While you may think it's "hilarious" to go as Robin Williams with a belt around his neck or Philip Seymour Hoffman with a needle in his arm or Joan Rivers on an operating table, it's not. It'll get more groan than giggle. Instead, go the tribute route by dressing up as one of their memorable characters.

9. Anything "Sexy" That Isn't
10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenWhat you think it says about you: "I'm clever and hot."
What it actually says about you: "I just wanted to look hot, and I thought this was a less obvious way to do that."
An alternative: Pick a side — sexy or random.

10. Anything That Combines the Previous Things on This List
You're really pushing the envelope of tastelessness by double dipping in the offensive.
See:
Blackface + Ray Rice
10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This HalloweenEbola + Non-Sexy Things Made Sexy:10 'Too Soon' Costumes You Should NOT Consider Wearing This Halloween
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I'm the former Interactives Editor at Zimbio. I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship with my cat. Follow me: Google
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