American Wife Laura Trims the Bush

Liberals like to see Laura Bush as a complicated tragic figure, but one they like. Whats not to like about a woman who when introduced to the Grand Dame of the Bush family announced “I smoke, I read and I admire”?

They like the image of Laura, curled up with Dostoevsky, occasionally going out on the Truman balcony to smoke a cigarette. When Junior gets too trying, the spunky First Lady huffs some Windex.

For some time the biggest left wing Lauraphille of all has been Curtis Sittenfeld. Back in 2004 she wrote a piece for Salon entitled Why I love Laura Bush, in which Laura's fan gushed that, though she is a staunch liberal, and hates George Bush, she finds his wife to be "sincere, down-to-earth, smart -- and a role model for all Americans."

Miss Sittenefeld is back in the news this week, as the author of American Wife, a thinly veiled novel based upon the life of Laura Bush. It is the story of a shy librarian from Texas who marries into a Blueblood Republican family. Hubby becomes a bumbling president, whom she disagrees with about almost everything, but stays with him, and keeps her mouth shut, out of love and an appreciation for his cute butt and sexual prowess.

Apparently the story doesn't disappoint on gossip. As a teenager the Laura character discovers her grandmother is a lesbian, kills her high school crush in an auto accident, after which she screws around with deceased bf's brother—and ends up having an abortion.

The accident is a true event. The other two aspects, are, as far as I can find, based upon a couple of times when the First Lady publicly disagreed with Dubya.

Mrs. Bush has openly said she does not believe Roe v Wade should be overturned, opposed the Protect Marriage Amendment, and the use of gay baiting in Republican campaigns.

At the time Laura ran off her big mouth, the Republicans were bullshit. It was even worse than the time she wore a headscarf, to fit in with some jihadist chicks.

Back in 2006 Diane Gramley, of American Family Association of Pennsylvania found it “tragic” that Mrs. Bush did not see the importance of making the marriage amendment a campaign issue

John Arvosis suspected that Laura's fag hag tendencies were the result of Mary Cheney's influence coming home to roost.

He's right, but it is not just Mary, but her mother as well, the author of Sisters—a novel of the Western frontier about lesbians, whorehouses, and a womyns's commune, complete with daily "massage sessions."

—all and all Lynne Cheney's tome is a pretty poignant critique of a phallic-centric culture.

And then there is Condi Rice, who undoubtedly is a closeted, though likely celibate, androgynous dyke.

Of course, in the brat days, Jenna was a bit of a GUG.

Although, the Christian Right doesn't like the image--strong women are a prominent theme in the story of the Bush family.

If Laura had not given her husband the ultimatum of Jack Daniels or her, he never would have become president.

Is there any doubt who wears the pants in Poppy Bush's house.

And I really doubt that Dick Cheney gives much back talk to Lynne.

The Left senses this—so they deal with it by making Laura into a tragic figure, much like Pat Nixon and Betty Ford, who managed to maintain the facade of good Republican womanhood, by consuming plenty of Valium, washed down with Margarita chasers.

Mary Cheney, who does not have the decency to embrace patricide, is just trashed.

But, what was most interesting about the pre-release reviews of American Wife was the reaction of the right. The Party of Decency and Righteous Indignation, not understanding the book is meant as a tribute, believes Miss Sittenfeld's mash-up is a disgusting hit piece. Michelle Malkin wondered how the ”libs” would react if someone wrote a smut piece about Michelle O.

Apparently the Morally Righteous have forgiven Laura's past sins. They view the enigmatic woman as Our Lady of God's Party. Any suggestion that she has not always conformed to the behavior expected of such perfect Republican womanhood, is heresy.

Social conservatives don't like multi-dimensional characters, where black and white get twisted,and there is a whole lot of various shades of gray. It's just too darn confusing.

But their attitude is no stranger than the crush liberals have over the woman.

If the power of Laura's pussy was enough to cure alcoholism, then surely she could have done more to influence some of the dumbass behavior—at least the evil stuff, such as gay baiting.

But who knows?

Things might have been even worse, if Laura had not been able to trim the bush.