This is a topic I write about often since it is the basic foundation for many aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. Whenever we are referring to M/s or D/s, the main component is the exchange of power. The only way either of those relationships exist is because the power is ceded to the one in control.For those who are unaware, the single difference between M/s and D/s is in the areas the power applies to. In a M/s relationship, the slave is giving up all power over any area of his or her life. ... Read Full Story

Much attention is given to the online BDSM world, specifically, M/s and D/s. It is interesting to notice how many are taken in by the cons that occur online. What would normally be dismissed with common sense is, instead, swallowed whole-heartedly. This creates a situation where many are harmed. What is one to do when faced with the daunting task of trying to find someone online? How can you succeed in your search while protecting yourself from the predators and game players? That is wh... Read Full Story

Let me ask a question: what do you think that newer people to the lifestyle think about when they are considering what is offered here? Do you believe that service is the idea that is foremost in their minds or does the idea of sexual conquest reign supreme? My experience tells me that the idea of sex is what most consider when looking at this alternative lifestyle.Naturally, the images presented online lead one to this conclusion. We all have seen the pictures of professional dungeon scen... Read Full Story

Most understand the idea that the Master/Dom is the one who is in control of the relationship. This is a concept that is fairly easy to comprehend. However, many seem to fall short on accepting this when it comes to implementing it into practice.We see the exchange of power become more pronounces as we travel further along the line towards the extreme end of the lifestyle. When we arrive at the M/s relationship, we see the breakdown of power complete. A Master is the one who is totally in... Read Full Story

I was recently told of an instant messaging conversation that was posted by someone that reflects the mindset of many who start to indulge in the BDSM way of life. This particular interaction took place between someone who was living real time and an online Gorean slave. As you can guess, you know where this one is heading.Without going into all the interesting details, the basic premise was that the real time slave was sharing her experience while the online one was contradicting everythin... Read Full Story

Many people think that submissive types should be looked down upon. They view submission as a sign of weakness. In my book, An Owned Life, I refer to the impact of societal conditioning on our mindsets. However, being submissive is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it is just one following a natural inclination. Domination is not better, it is simply different.That being said, I will point out that many submissive types want to play the victim. This takes someone from a position that sho... Read Full Story

This is a word that we are conditioned to say from a very young age. Some estimates claim that we hear "No!" 65,000 times by the age of 5. I am not certain how many times this is impressed upon our young minds. Nevertheless, it is a lot. Societal conditioning starts at a young age.When looking at the BDSM world, most claim to understand the exchange of power that is part of our lifestyle. They feel that being in a position to submit to another is what they truly desire. Unfortunately, r... Read Full Story

This is one of the aspects of the lifestyle that is captured in the imaginations of those who look at this lifestyle online. Many crave the idea of being held in captivity in an assortment of positions. Certainly, bondage is a way to emphasize the breakdown in power. Obviously, when one is bound, he or she is at the total mercy of the other person. This is an idea that sounds heavenly to many.As attractive as this idea is, it also comes with a large degree of risk. Regular readers of my ... Read Full Story

This post might be offensive to some. Nevertheless, it is something that needs to be written about.Over the past few months, I wrote about the fact that many seem to view BDSM as the answer to all their life problems. Sadly, the truth is that this is not the case. We live an alternative lifestyle. Nevertheless, it does not shield us from the basic everyday life situations that people encounter. Life is still life and fundamental coping skills need to be applied.That being said, it seems ... Read Full Story

Many think the images they see online are what constitutes the "extreme" aspect of BDSM. This might be true if it was real. However, most of the images we see are scenes established by professionals. They are actors playing a role. While the techniques they exemplify are accurate, it is not real BDSM.That being said, pain is not the most extreme thing one will encounter in this lifestyle. When one looks at all the different aspects of BDSM, they will understand that the Master/slave rela... Read Full Story