Most understand the idea that the Master/Dom is the one who is in control of the relationship. This is a concept that is fairly easy to comprehend. However, many seem to fall short on accepting this when it comes to implementing it into practice.We see the exchange of power become more pronounces as we travel further along the line towards the extreme end of the lifestyle. When we arrive at the M/s relationship, we see the breakdown of power complete. A Master is the one who is totally in... Read Full Story

I was recently told of an instant messaging conversation that was posted by someone that reflects the mindset of many who start to indulge in the BDSM way of life. This particular interaction took place between someone who was living real time and an online Gorean slave. As you can guess, you know where this one is heading.Without going into all the interesting details, the basic premise was that the real time slave was sharing her experience while the online one was contradicting everythin... Read Full Story

Many people think that submissive types should be looked down upon. They view submission as a sign of weakness. In my book, An Owned Life, I refer to the impact of societal conditioning on our mindsets. However, being submissive is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it is just one following a natural inclination. Domination is not better, it is simply different.That being said, I will point out that many submissive types want to play the victim. This takes someone from a position that sho... Read Full Story

This is a word that we are conditioned to say from a very young age. Some estimates claim that we hear "No!" 65,000 times by the age of 5. I am not certain how many times this is impressed upon our young minds. Nevertheless, it is a lot. Societal conditioning starts at a young age.When looking at the BDSM world, most claim to understand the exchange of power that is part of our lifestyle. They feel that being in a position to submit to another is what they truly desire. Unfortunately, r... Read Full Story

This is one of the aspects of the lifestyle that is captured in the imaginations of those who look at this lifestyle online. Many crave the idea of being held in captivity in an assortment of positions. Certainly, bondage is a way to emphasize the breakdown in power. Obviously, when one is bound, he or she is at the total mercy of the other person. This is an idea that sounds heavenly to many.As attractive as this idea is, it also comes with a large degree of risk. Regular readers of my ... Read Full Story

This post might be offensive to some. Nevertheless, it is something that needs to be written about.Over the past few months, I wrote about the fact that many seem to view BDSM as the answer to all their life problems. Sadly, the truth is that this is not the case. We live an alternative lifestyle. Nevertheless, it does not shield us from the basic everyday life situations that people encounter. Life is still life and fundamental coping skills need to be applied.That being said, it seems ... Read Full Story

Many think the images they see online are what constitutes the "extreme" aspect of BDSM. This might be true if it was real. However, most of the images we see are scenes established by professionals. They are actors playing a role. While the techniques they exemplify are accurate, it is not real BDSM.That being said, pain is not the most extreme thing one will encounter in this lifestyle. When one looks at all the different aspects of BDSM, they will understand that the Master/slave rela... Read Full Story

A good slave has a degree of flexibility about her. Now I am not referring to the type of flexibility where she can put her legs over her head although that is always helpful. What I am alluding to is the fact that a slave needs to be able to change directions on a moment's notice.The truth is that people who are high drive tend to have a lot going on. This could be your Master. Because of that, situations will change periodically. Nobody has a crystal ball that predicts the future. Ins... Read Full Story

I recent came across an article that spoke of this topic. This section was contained within a larger context, but I felt this particular point was worth mentioning.There are many online who have recently uncovered their submissive side. This is something that might have been stirring for years or, perhaps, a recent revelation. Either way, a person is interested in giving control over to another.We are all good up to this point. The problem arises when we look at the background of some of ... Read Full Story

Often people think that the BDSM lifestyle is an all or none proposition. In reading the writings of many online, and including my own writing in there from time-to-time, it can be understood that one needs to fully commit to live this way of life or not enter into it.This is a complete untruth. People can approach this lifestyle in whatever way they deem fit. Many times I write my assertion that there "is no one size fits all" methodology. Saying that there is the equivalent of one procl... Read Full Story