As many of you know, I graduated from Queens College, living at home the entire time. Not going away to school is one of my big regrets (becoming a Jets fan is another). My, wife, Josie, has decided to do something about it.My birthday is next week, and in honor of it, Josie is throwing me a "Harris Goes To College" pub crawl in Hell's Kitchen. I will be drinking till I puke. As I am not much of a drinker and the crawl starts at 6 PM, I expect that to be around 7:30. I am prepared for my fra... Read Full Story
People asked me who I was rooting for since, as a Mets fan, the Yanks and Phils are both our arch-enemies.I responded, "Just like in Rocky 5, I was rooting for the end."Harris
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I love how animal rescue sites try to warn you about adoptable dogs' poor behavior by making it appealing - I saw one this morning that read, "...and Cody will love to decorate your house with toilet paper any chance she gets!"If I wrote one for Kilo, here would be some tidbits.......Kilo is so athletic, he will jump right up to your nose and bite it! Kilo is good at whimpering or crying when he wants or needs something, which is all the time!Kilo is great on the leash, assuming you consider... Read Full Story
This isn't gonna be about his deficiencies as a writer. I mean, YES, he uses the same lines time and time again, and YES, it is ridiculous how he STILL uses Shawshank, The Karate Kid and Rocky movies to underscore his points. Also, his increased popularity, coinciding with his move to L.A. has changed his point of view, from "man of the people" to "check me out, hanging with Jimmy (that's Mr. Kimmel to you) while watching all ten games on my sweet plasma screen setup."He also got kinda screw... Read Full Story
Why is David Spade catching flak about his ad with the late Chris Farley? I don't recall anyone saying songs where dead people are singing to be in poor taste.Harris
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I was recently in two contests in Connecticut recently where I was pitted against 30 and 23 other comics.In the first contest, unlike myself, they were all from Connecticut (I got in since I had done shows at this club).I made it past the first round, which isn't saying a lot if you saw most of these other comics.I made it past the second round though I was lil worried as, even though I was the best pure comic on the show, the crowd wasn't all that into me (of course that brings up the quest... Read Full Story
Yesterday, while playing the Oakland Raiders, Jets QB Mark Sanchez was caught on the sidelines eating a hot dog.When asked why he did it, Sanchez replied, "I couldn't find the fondue guy."Harris
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I had a gig a few weeks ago where I took a train out of the city with another comic who was on the show. A comic that I disliked, and had no interest in talking to for a two-hour train ride."I think I'll bring a book, and when we sit down, I'll immediately open it," I had told Josie. Thinking about it, I continued, "Is that really rude?""Um, yes!"So, I decided not to bring the book.The day of the show, the other comic greeted me at the train station. We picked out our seats. As soon as we sa... Read Full Story
For those of you who don't live in NY, our subway system is in one way awesome (cheap way to get around), but also infuriating.Not only do trains often run late, but it's pretty dirty down there and you have to deal with large amounts of people in a small space. And by and large, people suck (sorry if you're a person). Case in point, the person I saw having an argument yesterday.Fact is, we all think we're right when we get into arguments, but I really wonder what this one dude told his frie... Read Full Story
