We are both Canadian, as those who are close to us and those who update our driver’s licenses every 10 years know (these two groups are, for now, mutually exclusive… but we’re working on buttering up a few of the people who give the eyesight test). However, we have enjoyed numerous benders throughout the United States, most memorably in New York, San Diego, New Orleans, Nashville and Memphis, and have made our dollar stretch in taverns a fair number of ports of call in between. Every Canadian... Read Full Story

Regular Shark Guy readers take note. We will return to non-municipal dumping related posts on Friday (unless of course, you want us to switch formats like a failing new country station and stick with this exclusively). We will periodically update the trash situation with new developments and pictures, provided it’s not raining and we can’t find anything better to do (a likely outcome, as we have a few candidates for better things to do right now and welcome suggestions). As you c... Read Full Story

Alternate caption: Disease spread curbed by isolation! As regular readers are aware, we occasionally like to point out some of the finer pieces of journalism we’ve come across. Unfortunately, there is enough material out there that this has become a regular feature. Above, from the ‘how’d they get the Caramilk into the Caramilk bar’ school of journalism, courtesy of a Toronto newspaper we won’t name. And below, from that very same publication—those pesky bo... Read Full Story

Plug your nostrils everyone. We just passed Week 1 of the city-wide garbage strike (well, city-wide except for one borough that has private pick-up), smack dab in the middle of one of the city’s biggest tourist draws—Gay Pride. Here is Christie Pits park, in Toronto’s Korea Town / Annex West Neighborhood. It’s one of the temporary landfill sites that the city has set up, much to the chagrin of everyone in the ‘hood and one of the authors, who lives a few blocks ... Read Full Story

We were uncertain whether to blog about Michael Jackson’s death since we’re in the business of flambéing tabloid-fodder celebs whenever we have the opportunity (though we must stress how much we also relish poking a stick in the common man’s ribs). Michael Jackson was the king of the tabloids (who until yesterday were referring to him as “The Self-Proclaimed King of Pop” – get ready for more shameless post-mortem backstepping than after Diana’s death), the wellspring of more check... Read Full Story

As we’ve noted previously, when it comes to booze and consumer choice in our province, much like the tavern that pours only dregs from the bottom of one keg, there is very little. In fact, it’s completely absent in the People’s Republic of Ontario where real competition is stifled like fixed Mafia ‘Bum of the Month’ fights. Why this is so is anyone’s guess (Freemasons?), but as it stands, a state-owned enterprise with annual revenues of nearly $5 billion do... Read Full Story

Being a father isn’t easy unless your ticket into that fraternity was deposited into a specimen jar and handed with a sheepish look to someone in a lab coat. It’s true that men do not have to go through pregnancies and what must be the unspeakable horror of passing a live being through one’s loins, but we do have to witness our favorite comedians dumping their best material for “new daddy” jokes and depending on the comedian, that can be far more traumatic. Fathe... Read Full Story

We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week. Read Full Story

If you’ve ever wanted washboard abs (without having to join a jug band) and battle chronic insomnia, you’re in luck as late night infomercials advertise a broad range of products that will make your lower torso look like Contrapposto sculpture without having to hang upside down to achieve the same results. [Editor's note: If you do [...] Read Full Story

Ever since David Letterman realized that his show functioned as a better lead-in to the Flavor Wave Turbo oven infomercial when he compiled lists of things, Top 10 countdowns have taken off like their Cape Canaveral counterpart. [As a side note: one night in a Chicago blues bar, band members made the mistake of asking some white guy to count the drummer in for the next song...instead of 1..2, a 1, 2, 3 he offered '5, 4, 3, 2, 1', cracking up the entire band and probably making them re... Read Full Story