The education sector is in disarray once more as it emerged that more and more people are paying for fraudulent degrees over the internet. It is understood that thousands of people every year are sucked into these schemes, which defraud people of huge sums of money. One student caught up in the ‘cash for degrees’ scheme, Freda Klug, told The Nail Biter: “I was approached by a shady institution calling themselves Oxford University. “They offered to give me a mastersR... Read Full Story

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In a press conference earlier today, Gordon Brown shocked the public by apologising for calling John and Edward ‘not very good’. He went on to reveal that he had changed his mind and hoped they would do well. “Jedward is useless, annoying, and hated by large sections of the public,” said Brown. “Most people can’t wait to see them go. “Yes, they remind me of myself in every way. “That is why I hope they enjoy huge levels of success, and win every... Read Full Story

In a frank and exclusive interview, Gordon Brown has revealed that he thinks it is finally ‘time to pull out’. “It’s time to tell the lads to pull out before things get any more disastrous,” he began. “I am not sure that the public’s support will last much longer – I think we’re all surprised it hasn’t entirely faded already. “Our boys have got guts – there’s no doubt about that – but everyone knows they̵... Read Full Story

There is widespread panic as the film 2012, released this week, predicts that the world will end in that year. The film’s director explained: “There is a lot of mythological significance to the date of November 6, 2012. Yes, 06/11/2012 is the day when Sarah Palin will become president of the U.S., immediately plunging the world into eternal darkness and heralding a nightmarish apocalypse. “This disaster has been forecast since the days of the Mayans, who depicted an evil god... Read Full Story

As part of the ongoing battle against corruption in Afghanistan, the government in conjunction with Nato has created its own taskforce dubbed the ‘Afghan FBI’. A spokesperson told The Nail Biter: “You don’t need to worry about efficacy here. No, this anti-corruption commission will be just like the original FBI. “That’s right – we will surreptitiously kidnap people without substantial evidence, knowingly assist in the convictions of innocent people, a... Read Full Story

Ex-Smiths frontman Morrissey is today recovering after being struck by inspiration at a gig last night. He was performing his second song of the evening when some creative inspiration flew through the air and hit him straight in the face. “I was stunned,” said Morrissey later. “I had been hit by an idea for making an original and emotive song, as opposed to the forgettable garbage I’ve been churning out since I went solo. “Well, I don’t take kindly to that ... Read Full Story

There was more embarrassment for the Prime Minister this weekend as it was revealed he had made an ill-timed spelling mistake. In a letter of condolence to a UK citizen, he intended to write, “I am deeply sorry for your loss and the entire government stands behind you at this difficult time.” However, due to a slip of the pen he wrote: “I hate this bloody job! The entire government has it in for me. When I’m re-elected in May I’ll get rid of the lot of them.̶... Read Full Story

The worldwide homophobic movement was dealt a setback yesterday as they were defeated at the polls once again. In the wake of Proposition One, voters in the state of “everywhere except Maine” agreed that homophobia is a disgusting and unnatural practice and should be cleansed from society.   A supporter of the anti-anti-gay proposition said: “This is an important victory to protect families worldwide. “Yes, now that the election is over the bigoted anti-gay marri... Read Full Story

After winning another term as President of Afghanistan following a botched election, Hamid Karzai has vowed to join the battle against corruption. “Corruption has discredited the democratic process in this country,” Karzai began, “and there are many corrupt officials who must be removed from power in order to restore trust. “The first thing I will do is expel the dishonest, insurgent rabble that is plunging this country back into the dark ages. Yes, Dr Abdullah and his... Read Full Story