Clara Bow

What do silent movie star Clara Bow, and ex-Blue Peter and Saturday Superstore presenter Sarah Greene have in common?  The answer, of course, is that they are both the subjects of urban myths in which they are said to have pleasured an entire sports team in one sitting.  Clara Bow, it is claimed, was known to entertain at home the University of Southern California football team, including a young Marion Morrison, or John Wayne to you and me.  Sarah Greene, meanwhile, is a legendary figure at...Read Full Story

Lady Lynda, sitting on her rose pink divan, fanned herself to try to eliminate her vapors. The now celebrity etiquette expert was hard at work thinking up some bon mots for her upcoming lecture in Rose Tree PA. Roses enlivened her tender sensibilities. The flowers of love. Yet as she polished her manners tidbits she basked in the glow of continuing spectaculsr tour. Yes she at last found her true calling. She would talk about how utterly important decorum was in virtually every situation. It...Read Full Story

This be Wanda Lust and I tell ya we all done went out on the town this past Friday. There was me and Fat Harold, Seymour and Lady Lynda, and Auntie Carol and Herman. We done eat I-talian with the spaghetti lookin’ like white worms we be slurpin’ up. Then I notice Auntie Carol and Herman both disappear into the same restroom and come back grinnin’ like a fox in the hen house. It aint seemly that high fallutin’ people gone act all freaky deaky. When I gits people all figured out, I likes it if...Read Full Story

Lady Lynda relaxed in her boudoir. The fairly newly married woman wore her her long sleeved flannel carnation pink night gown. The one with the jaunty lace trim. Seymour Toze’s spouse purposely languidly laid upon the divan celebrating the Diva that become since being married to her gentleman friend of quite a few decades. She deemed herself the height of fortune to be of wedded bliss to her epitomy of patience , shoe salesman, fashion photographer. Lady Lynda loved the sound of her complete...Read Full Story

With Lady Lynda on her Speaking Tour about the Importance of Proper Manners & Socual Decorum, Auntie Carol continued her mission, working with Las Cabronas, the socially end economically disavantaged girls gang they had adopted as a special project. Auntie Carol was also talking about social niceties, the necessity to always carry a scented sashet in one’s purse, a kerchief, and a tube of pink lipstick, and to cross one’s legs at the hip level when wearing a short skirt, and to never sneeze...Read Full Story

Herman Sheman proposed the idea and Auntie Carol enthusiastically seconded it. To go to a fancy dinner at a world reknowned French restaurant in center city with Seymour Toze and Lady Lynda. Cameradary cannot be over-rated in this chill world, the love of friends is worth a pirate’s bounty. When told of this most excellent plan, Lady Lynda embraced Auntie Carol, (not in “that” way, silly). She yelled, “Fantastico, querida, porque no?” (Fantastic, dear, why not?”) Not be outdone, Auntie...Read Full Story

"Don't look so crestfallen, dear," she intoned, "Rome was not built in a day." "Don't I know it. Don't I know it," Auntie Carol replied. "It's just that all of them are so hardened and so young. It's a case of welchschmerz, world weariness. How can we instill in them faith, hope and charity?" "I think, dear the lillies have been quilded," replied Lady Lynda."They're whores, thieves, drug dealers and worse. I daresay, they won't get into heaven." "Darling," said Auntie Carol, "heaven...Read Full Story

Though our girls were working with Las Cabronas, the Girl’s Gang in the evenings, They were still teaching in the day time at the Pequot School for Dastardly Bastards. One day Francisco, for no seeming reason, asked whom they considered attractive and in unison they retorted, “Rock Hudson.” “No one current or alive?” inquired Francisco. “Well, no,” said Auntie Carol, “unless you count Johnny Depp, who is quite comely.”. “No, my dear,” interjected Lady Lynda, “It’s got to be Joaquin...Read Full Story

Lady Lynda sat there glumly on her paisley upholstered sofa contemplating what precisely came in effect because of her etiquette teachings to the students. How edifying was her teachings? Yes it was true there was a soiree but what happened next? Yes what did happen? Did her as they say on that new fangled net , her BFF Auntie Carol. Did she know? There was this Lourdes, aka Lala and her gentleman friend Francisco. She of the Charm School for Wayward Girls. He of The Pequot Reform School for...Read Full Story

This is not the Blood Wedding by Garcia Lorca. And this is Auntie Carol. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze also chose to “take the plunge” so to speak with me and my man, Herman Sherman. A duel wedding, what could have been more festive on the day of St. Stephen’s Feast, the 26th of December? Oh, so jolly, mistletoe and holly. We had our priest dress up as Santa to promote a Christmas Theme. Lady Lynda and Seymour Toze were somewhat miffed at the Christmas theme both being Jewish. But in the end...Read Full Story