Talking to one of my kids on the phone: Me: You know there was a time when there was no kitty litter. Everyone had to use shredded up newspaper in a carboard box. No fancy plastic kitty litter boxes, either. Tin foil wrapped over a box. And shredded newspaper. Kid: Wow. And I bet you had to walk to school in ten feet of snow. Uphill. Both ways. Me: Actually, I grew up in Florida. Only five feet of snow... and hurricanes. I had to walk to school during hurricanes in ten feet of... Read Full Story

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Coworker: Have you seen the new Admission's guy? He is gorgeous. Me: I know! He looks like a combination of Ricky Ricardo and Ricardo Montalban. CW: Very sexy! Me: With a delicious accent. ModSquad member Lincoln Hayes: Who are you girls talking about? CW: The new guy ModSquad member Pete Cochran: Are you ladies drooling over the new guy? ModSquad member Julie Barnes: Uh huh! He is very pretty. Pete: So, Linc, I guess you have been knocked off your pedestal. Linc: Those women... Read Full Story

Today, I received a special iunvitation to attend a dinner some students were presenting. The Big Boss came to my office and asked if I wanted to go to lunch and I said yes, of course. In the formal dining room, the students were showing off their cooking ability, their presentation ability, their ice sculpture ability and their table service ability. I was seated with another student named Chris and the Large Boss. We chatted amiably during the meal while we watched very nervous servers... Read Full Story

Admission's representative: You know it is a tragedy when a student drops. I mean that student is loosing out on the greatest opportunity of their life. They are loosing out on a change to totally better themselves. So, a student drops and I get an email from you with an exclamation point on it. It is tragic when a student drops. It is not an exclamation point moment. Me: OK. I understand, now. AR: No more exclamation points on emails when a student drops. That is a new rule. Add a... Read Full Story

A big part of starting college is taking a giant step into adulthood. It is putting away childish ideas and notions and learning to fin for ones self. Students who are right out of high school find this process very daunting and they often bring their poarents with them to this first giant step, lest they falter and fall on their pouty little faces. This is not bad because most of the time, the parents have to sign for loans or make arrangements for other financing. Any student over 24 is... Read Full Story

Filed under the category of "The Odder By-ways of the American English Language": I know, right? has become the new catch-all phrase if someone agrees with something. A friend may say to you, "That dress you are wearing is the most hideously ugly thing on this planet," and it has become fashionable to respond with, "I know, right?" or "Zombies will eat your face," "I know, right?" This phrase has moved into suprising circles. A college professor at the school where I work was caught (by... Read Full Story

The Culinary Institute has a standard dress code. If the students are in the kitchen, they wear Chef's clothes: The black and white tweedy pants, the chef's jumper, a snood for their heads. (They get the chef's hat when they graduate.) They have inspections daily, checking for clean wrinkle-free uniforms, clean fingernails, clean black shoes. If they are in an acedemic class, the men wear black pants, white shirt and tie. The women wear black dress pants and a white blouse. It is a very... Read Full Story

Ever have one of those days where an old flame calls you on the phone after you haven't heard anything from him in two years or more and he chats about this and that, inquiring about your job, your love life, your family? You know, "How's your mom and dad doing? Where are your kids? You still in school? How is your cat?" Oh Hell, NO! he did not play the cat card. Asking about my cat is supposed to soften me up for the kill. Then, this happened: Him: So, you have your own place? Me... Read Full Story

I get to strike out on my own, gently guiding over-eager youngsters into financial ruin. We use words like 35 THOUSAND DOLLARS and they reply with, "Like, how many iPods is that?" Then, we have to resuscitate the parents who have just fallen on the floor, eyes glazed over while mumbling to themselves, "My first house didn't cost that much." Then, the threats start. Mom or Dad begin by saying to the new student, "If you make anything less than an A on everything, I will repossess your... Read Full Story