Not yet published.
Finally opening the windows allowed large amounts of pollen to drift and settle. Result: most surfaces chez moi are currently topped by a mean green sheen, and it’s not invited to stay. Thing is, though, I can’t stand house cleaning. Ooh, I finally have some free time: now I can tackle those grout stains – just not the way my mind works. My inner lazy ass figured I could do the floors just by walking around in a pair of slipper genies , but unless I did some really sloppy-legged walking, I... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
I’m married to one of those men who watch too much television in general, and way too much fishing television in particular. I long ago stopped feigning even a mild interest in watching men hyperventilate and/or overreact over the simple act of catching a fish, which just doesn’t seem to hold nearly the mystery and allure for some of us that it does for others (and we’re not really sorry that we don’t share the love). Anyway, the other day one of the fishing shows took a commercial break. I... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Ever been scammed, ripped off, cheated? And I’m not talking about something petty that happened on a schoolyard, or the emotional pain of being lied to by a significant other, I’m referring to the unparalleled lousy-ass experience of parting with money in order to obtain something, then finding out—much, much too late for any reaction on your part—that you’ve been swindled, fleeced, duped…all such ugly words. It’s bad enough when you buy something, say a piece of exercise equipment designed... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Been noticing America’s widespread love affair with cake? Seems like every couple of weeks a new television show about cake decorating appears, or a new cake blog or book comes out. And have you checked out the cake decorating section of your grocery store lately? (okay, me neither) In any case, cake is riding the fad tide, hanging out with the popular crowd and loving every minute of it. However, there are still those of us living our lives largely without the involvement or assistance of... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Not sure if it’s the economy, my rapidly aging brain and body, or over-exposure to dry, heated air, but I’ve really been stressed out lately, feeling like the weight of my little slice of the world has become much heavier than usual, and as though the effort to counter this with any kind of vivacity or élan isn’t going to be happening soon, or meeting with much success. I’ll also be the first person to admit that February is my least favorite time of year, a month I like to think got... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Being able to watch your dog throughout the painful hours during which the two of you cannot be together just isn’t enough for some of you, who demand even closer and more intimate communication. Luckily technology has once again caught up with, or possibly even raced ahead of, your expectations and demands, and the resulting must-have is puppy tweets . (In fact, the product isn’t available everywhere just yet, but you’d better line up and order now, because these babies are gonna be flyin... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Got up this morning, went into the kitchen to make coffee, opened the cupboard and found an early Valentine’s gift from better half perched beside the mugs. Aw, wasn’t he sweet, hiding them like that for maximum early morning enjoyment? This man is fluent in the language of love, let me tell you. And over the years he’s taught me enough that I, too, am capable of making the occasional romantic gesture, which is why he’ll be getting a love coupon book after dinner tonight. ‘Course, I removed... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
I’m heaving a massive sigh of relief, emphasis on the heaving, after spending a long weekend with my crazy, cat-loving Great-Aunt Gertrude. So glad we do this only once a year! Trudi, as she’s called by her closest personal friends (i.e. what she calls herself) is a kind and gentle soul, an animal lover and only child who tells hilarious stories about her childhood, wears dramatically mis-applied make-up, and can make even the dullest of events memorable, but not always in a good way. Her... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Went to the store this morning and had the displeasure of ending up in line behind a woman who, for some reason, insisted on facing me/the back of the store, rather than standing in the direction of line motion and goal achievement. Worse, she just stood there staring at me, seemingly oblivious to my increasing discomfort. There are unspoken rules in our society, many of which involve body placement and direction, and most of the time we assume that everyone's read the same rule book, but, as... Read Full Story
Not yet published.
Today my niece becomes a teenager, and as I wish her well and look back to my own teen years, the first thing that comes to mind is this terrible woman who had the unfortunate task of teaching me what was called “Language Arts” the year I was 13 (and fully convinced that I’d already mastered the language and all its arts). She somehow managed to include the phrase “Neil Diamond” in every sentence of our grammar homework, every day. She sported visible dandruff, immense amounts of polyester... Read Full Story
