Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
After Madeline’s big birthday bash, we kept things much more mellow on the actual day she turned one. My friend Casey and her daughter the moosh were in town, so we took the girls to a fun indoor play yard. Maddie had a blast watching the moosh climb all over everything. Maddie idolized her.
After playing, we made a stop by a shop for dessert and then it was time to celebrate. We put a giant cream puff down in front of Maddie and let her go wild.
if you can’t see the video a... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
We spent Tuesday at the ER and it was hard, so hard. In the almost seven months since Madeline passed, I have carried the pain of losing her inside me, where no one can see it. Often I would wish that it could manifest itself into some sort of physical ailment, something visible so others could see with their own eyes how massive and hideous it is. But, like most pain, it is something that I can only tell people exists – they cannot see it just by looking at me.
Since last week, my neck... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
Yesterday felt like the day that wouldn’t end. Heather’s appointment with Dr. Risky was at 10 am, so I packed her into the car and drove carefully to UCLA so as not to jostle Heather’s shoulder. I knew she was really hurting when she said, “after this appointment, I think I need to go to the Emergency Room.” She hates the ER (like the majority of the planet, I’m sure), and we’re both wary to go anywhere near people with flu symptoms. So I knew it was ... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
Today Heather and I have our 25 week check-up where, in addition to finding out how Binky is doing, I want to ask Dr. Risky about back pain Heather has had for the last week. It’s very intense – to the point where she has been incapacitated in bed all day – and is centered in her right shoulder, neck and upper back. We called the nurse practitioner who didn’t seem too concerned. Still, I’m interested in finding out what the good doc thinks. Heather shouldn’t be in so m... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
A year ago was one of the greatest days of my life.
We held Madeline’s first birthday party nine days early, on November 2nd, taking advantage of the proximity to Halloween to throw a costume bash.
It was a large party at my parents’ house. They have the room for that sort of thing. I wanted to invite the whole world, but I figured there were plenty of birthdays in the future for that.
Instead of gifts, we asked the guests to donate to the March of Dimes in Maddie’s name, an... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
Mike started writing songs about Madeline the day she was born. Silly songs, ballads, chants, anthems, and lullabies. There are many melodies about Maddie.
As Maddie grew older, she loved it when her daddy would play his songs for her.
And she often wanted to help him along.
One day I asked Mike to play for Maddie so I could get a video of her watching him. She was totally into it the first few times. But something would happen (a dog bark, ringing phone, wrong note), and we’d stop re... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
13 weeks 1 day
17 weeks 2 days
24 weeks 3 days
Binky is moving along well, and it is such a comfort and relief. Things have been a little bit rougher for me but nothing awful. My sudden crazy upper back and neck pain has been super annoying but it all checks out OK and it’s nothing I can’t handle. My blood pressure has been kind of wild. High one day (132/83 is significantly above my baseline BP), and then extremely low the next day (83/40 is low for ANYONE). It makes taking my... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
My mom and I were lucky enough to attend the Women’s Conference yesterday thanks to my wonderful friend, Emmie. The mission of The Women’s Conference is to inspire, empower and educate women to be Architects of Change in their own lives and in the lives of others. The whole conference sounded amazing but what I was really looking forward to was the session on Grief, Healing and Resilience.
The four panelists were perfect for the conversation as they had experienced three different but c... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
I don’t remember much about that day, but I do remember walking into the room and seeing the right one for you. We knew we wanted something pretty, but we didn’t know what until we saw the many shades of purple. We never thought it would be something we’d have to pick out for you
I remember the day we brought you home in it. I was expecting it to be so heavy, but it wasn’t. Now, though, if I try to lift it I find it to be almost impossible. It’s weighed down with... Read Full Story
Pending
Written on
-
Not yet published to a wikizine
I get through my days by working toward little moments and events. Sometimes it’s as simple as, “just a few more hours until that TV show starts,” or “tomorrow I have an ultrasound.” Other times it’s a bigger event, like someone coming to visit or maybe a ticket to a baseball game or lunch with friends. This last month I’ve had a lot of things to carry me through, which is good because I’m coming up on the hardest day of the hardest month –... Read Full Story
