sanna43

Today is officially my first audition, and of course I am sick as a dog with a severe cold. After months stuck living with the folks, slowly gaining enough strength for even the open adult classes at my local company, I am more than ready for a change. I can't decide if the painfully slow classes, depressing jobs I picked up waiting tables, and strange awkwardness of moving back home after 5 years away take the edge off the excruciating audition process, or just further drive my self... Read Full Story

After weeks of frustration, my physical therapist FINALLY discovered the cause of pain - and what a simple solution it is! I am down to pt once a week, and I am essentially pain free! I am also so relieved to know that my foot really wasn't broken and we weren't just missing something on my completely normal MRI results. Now I have my work cut out for me. I have been working on the side to save up some money, and I need to get back into shape for auditions! I think I will be just in time. I... Read Full Story

My foot continued to get worse, so after the last post I decided I should take a break. I called the doctor and made an appointment to get an MRI and immediately signed up for unlimited yoga and some private pilates. It is very expensive to do private pilates, but I think it is the best way to stay in shape when you can't dance, and a great way to cross-train when I am dancing. Maybe if I had done a better job with cross training I wouldn't have gotten this injury in the first place. I've... Read Full Story

So I returned from two auditions for two great companies. The first was a very friendly, welcoming company. Many dancers struck up conversations with me, and I even knew a few company members already (the ballet world is so small!). So it was nice to feel welcomed, although ironically I think it made me even more nervous and self conscious. Maybe I had the feeling they were interested in me and therefore watching! I'm not sure, but despite my nerves I think I danced fairly well for an... Read Full Story

So bags and bags and boxes and suitcases and more boxes and trash bags later, I managed to somehow get all my stuff out of my apartment. I met my friends one last time at the coffee place under my apartment, gave away the last of my stuff, and caught a cab to the airport. I am so fortunate to have such great friends - one in particular stayed with me the entire time, helping me pack, or just keeping me company. As I've said, as much as it was my decision to leave, it was still very difficult... Read Full Story

Janie, As I am writing this you are most likely warming up, taking class for tonight. Connecting with this love frees you, your mind and body for your own standing ovation. What if every performance was infused with this love? Would you improve? Could you have more fun? Learn faster? You might experience that tonight. If you set this internal state in dance mode, the anger of the director (which you cannot control) is minimized. Have you ever noticed when someone around you is upset and you... Read Full Story

Don't worry the beginning comes soon! Sorry I haven't posted for a while - I am running around like a madwoman trying to get in my last... well everything before I leave this place! After almost three years I've gotten pretty attached, even if it was my choice to leave. I am going to miss this place. I just wrote a note to the director thanking her for everything. She has been pretty hostile towards me these past few weeks - that is totally normal and expected for her. She yelled at me in... Read Full Story

I waited and waited to get the director somewhat alone. I had a break and she was in the studio talking to one of of our teachers, so when she got up with her purse, I jumped up and waited by the door. Then she started talking to one of the principle dancers - the same one she was speaking with before the weekend when I tried to tell her I was leaving the first time! But it was just about 5 minutes or so before she made her way to the door and I asked if we could talk. We walked upstairs to a... Read Full Story

Hello, Janie, It will be difficult to say 'Goodbye.' Accept it. You will feel sad and upset. You may never see some of them again. This camaraderie is a gift that is shared by teams, dance corps and an group that comes together. It is bittersweet. You take a part of them with you and you leave a part of you behind. These people changed your life and helped to shape your dancing. Honor them (as I mentioned in the most recent post). Do something celebratory that 'leaves' you in the country... Read Full Story

I just got back from the tour - and it was AMAZING! I can't believe I can have so much fun in just 4 days - and only one show! But I'll tell you all about it later. Now it's morning and I'm getting ready to go to work. Today is the day I MUST tell the director I am leaving. I am not looking forward to this. It's like breaking up with somebody. I know I need to do it, but it won't be easy for either of us. Despite the less-than-kindness I have often felt from the director, all in all we have a... Read Full Story