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Late Night Jokes
Follow the best jokes from Late Night with Conan O'Brien and the Late Show with David Letterman.
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Will the Regina Lasko and David Letterman marriage last?
16905 votes so far
Leader:
Yes, they seem like a great couple
Yes, they seem like a great couple
48%
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29%
28%
43%
22%
51%
35%
Jimmy Fallon will take Conan O'Brien's Late Night post next year...how will he do?
81 votes so far
Leader:
Ugh, Fallon is lame
Ugh, Fallon is lame
Here are a few of our favorite Late Night Jokes with Conan O'Brien:
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
- Conan O'Brien
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
- Conan O'Brien
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.
- Conan O'Brien
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
- Conan O'Brien
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.
- Conan O'Brien
Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
- Conan O'Brien
Fish recognize a bad leader.
- Conan O'Brien
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
- Conan O'Brien
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
- Conan O'Brien
In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.
- Conan O'Brien
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.
- Conan O'Brien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
- Conan O'Brien
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
- Conan O'Brien
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.
- Conan O'Brien
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
- Conan O'Brien
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.
- Conan O'Brien
Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
- Conan O'Brien
Fish recognize a bad leader.
- Conan O'Brien
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
- Conan O'Brien
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
- Conan O'Brien
In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.
- Conan O'Brien
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.
- Conan O'Brien
Photo:Edelson/NBC As Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O’Brien battle for late-night supremacy, one thing has become clear: Jimmy Fallon has the hottest house band. In their eight months on the air, the Roots have played with everybody from Paul ...
- The real Sarah Palin/Oprah interview (fresnobeehive.com)
- Vampire, Wolfboy, and Hunky Mummy Visit Conan (towleroad.com)
- Al Gore, Geothermal Scientist (blogger.com)
Conan O'Brien responded to an angry Kirstie Alley last night after she tweeted that the "Tonight Show" host acts like she "bit his d**k off." The tweets were part of conversation with Star Jones who bemoaned being called fat and ugly on TV. Alley responded with this: Kirstie: I'll tell you ONE BITCH I'm gonna knck [sic] out next time I see her is CONAN O'BITCH O'BRIAN..that guy acts like I bit his...Cele|bitchy (subscribe) : Carrie Prejean...
From rss.wikio.com
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- Samantha Harris on Conan O'Brien and Kirstie Alley's Feud (theinsider.com)
- Kirstie Alley and Star Jones v. Conan O'Brien on Twitter (nowpublic.com)
- VIDEO: Conan O’Brien Just Flat-Out Hates Heidi And Spencer (bestweekever.tv)
With The Twilight Saga: New Moon set to hit theaters this week, it seems like a lot of celebrities have been getting into the New Moon parody business. After the jump you will find videos featuring Brandon Routh (Superman Returns), Martha Macisaac (Becca from Superbad), Aubrey Plaza (Funny People, Mystery Team) and Conan O'Brien.
Conan O'Brien wonders if the scenes between the werewolves are just a little too sexy.
Aubrey Plaza stars in...
More perspectives...
From feedburner.com
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O'Brien attracted negative attention from Alley through a barrage of fat jokes he cracked at her expense -- all of which he replayed during Wednesday’s show. Alley hit back at O’Brien on her Twitter page earlier this week.
From digg.com
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- Calling Out Anderson Cooper and Conan O'Brien (feedburner.com)
Conan O'Brien desperately needs some new material. He should give some jokes at Obama's expense a try, instead of following the David Letterman model of nonstop bashing of Republicans and Conservatives. ...
From blogsearch.google.com
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- Steve Phillips Fired, David Letterman Flying High (news.google.com)
Is Conan O'Brien ready for his third act? There's a scenario - one that might seem far-fetched now, but strange, fear-based decisions are made in the television industry all the time, so give it a few days - whereby television's suddenly forgotten man rises...
From sfgate.com
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- How fat am I? nj's GOP gov hopeful jokes on weight (news.google.com)
- Iowa's early Halloween-goers need jokes for treats (news.google.com)
Apparently Zach Galifianakis was blessed at birth by a magical unicorn whose horn filled Zach's anus with a lifetime of AWKWARD. Enjoy yet another "Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifiankis" with guest stars Conan O'Brien, Andy Richter, and... where DID he get that amazing "cricket riding a tumbleweed" machine?
[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]
From blogtown.portlandmercury.com
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- Watch Zach Galifianakis, Conan O'Brien, Andy Richter and Andy Dick on Between... (pastemagazine.com)
Comedians and satirists are finding plenty to laugh about in Sarah Palin's book and publicity tour:
Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue" goes rogue on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Watch as the book picks up a gun, evades FBI capture, shoots Rachel Maddow, and ducks into a hotel for a steamy love tryst.
Conan O'Brien does some helpful editing of Palin's Oprah interview to shed some light on why she really resigned as governor.
Jon Stewart...
More perspectives...
From z.about.com
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Kristen Stewart of Twilight New Moon On Conan O'Brien 12/16/09Please comment ,rate, and subscribe! ThanksOh No They Didn't! found this 5 hours ago on youtube.com Find more top entertainment news, videos, and blogs on ShowHype: Twilight, Kristen Stewart, Twilight, New Moon
More perspectives...
From showhype.com
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Bitch sounds is crazy!
In a Twitter "conversation" with none other than Star Jones, Kirstie Alley reveals that she is no fan of late-night darling Conan O'Brien - presumably because she is often the butt of his jokes!
They Tweet:
StarJonesEsq: Like I don't know what it is to be called FAT, UGLY & LAZY. Hell…people called me [...]
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From perezhilton.com
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Kristen Stewart is just a normal gal... a normal gal who simply wanted the chance to feel Conan O'Brien's famed red pompadour. The "Twilight: New Moon" actress stopped by "The Tonight Show" yesterday evening to promote the Friday release of her film and -- in between a bit of chit chat about crazed Italian fans, Taylor...
More perspectives...
From blog.zap2it.com
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Past interviewee Natalie Portman: still adorable even when massively uncomfortable. We bring you only the funniest videos here at the Comedy Examiner's Office, and the first one we have today is absolutely hysterical (as always, please remember that ...
More perspectives...
From search.live.com
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Here are a few of our favorite Late Night Jokes with David Letterman:
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
- David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
- David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
- David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
- David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
- David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
- David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
- David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
- David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
- David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
- David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
- David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
- David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
- David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
- David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
- David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
- David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman
