From cooeesearch.com
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Late Night Jokes
Follow the best jokes from Late Night with Conan O'Brien and the Late Show with David Letterman.
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Will the Regina Lasko and David Letterman marriage last?
16895 votes so far
Leader:
Yes, they seem like a great couple
Yes, they seem like a great couple
43%
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29%
28%
48%
42%
51%
35%
Jimmy Fallon will take Conan O'Brien's Late Night post next year...how will he do?
81 votes so far
Leader:
Ugh, Fallon is lame
Ugh, Fallon is lame
Here are a few of our favorite Late Night Jokes with Conan O'Brien:
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
- Conan O'Brien
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
- Conan O'Brien
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.
- Conan O'Brien
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
- Conan O'Brien
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.
- Conan O'Brien
Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
- Conan O'Brien
Fish recognize a bad leader.
- Conan O'Brien
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
- Conan O'Brien
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
- Conan O'Brien
In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.
- Conan O'Brien
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.
- Conan O'Brien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
- Conan O'Brien
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
- Conan O'Brien
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.
- Conan O'Brien
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
- Conan O'Brien
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.
- Conan O'Brien
Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
- Conan O'Brien
Fish recognize a bad leader.
- Conan O'Brien
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
- Conan O'Brien
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
- Conan O'Brien
In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.
- Conan O'Brien
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have.
- Conan O'Brien
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.
- Conan O'Brien
CBS News Conan O'Brien Apologizes Over Twitter Misrepresentation TheCelebrityCafe.com Shatner gave a dramatic reading of comments found on Levi Johnston's Twitter account. Routine, stuff, huh? So what's the problem
- Televised Tune: On The Tube This Weekend (feedburner.com)
- Conan Beats Letterman For Once (feedburner.com)
- The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien (hulu.com)
"The Insider" was with Levi Johnston Thursday night as he watched "The Tonight Show" and heard host Conan O'Brien's personal apology for "misrepresenting him in any way" during a skit the night before. Read on for more... Levi exclusively tells "The Insider": "I'm glad I gave him something to talk about on his show. Obviously it's good that I'm on there." On Thursday's "Tonight Show," Conan said he'd woken up to "shocking news." "Apparently...
From theinsider.com
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- Conan Apologizes, Antagonizes After Levi Johnston Twitter Shat Storm (news.google.com)
- Conan O'Brien Apologizes to Levi Johnston for Twitter Skit (seattlepi.nwsource.com)
Filed under: TV, Celebrity Feuds Levi Johnston threatened to sue, Conan O'Brien listened -- and last night he apologized for using an "imposter's" Twitter account to make fun of Sarah Palin's daughter's baby daddy.William Shatner was back again to do a reading from the "real" Levi ...Permalink
From ko.tmz.com
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- Conan Apologizes To Levi's Johnston For Being Funny (perezhilton.com)
- Levi's Rep to Conan: Take It Back or We Sue (theflavoroflovegirls.comandwww.tmz.com)
- Westword's hunt for a pot critic makes the talk-show circuit (westword.com)
Wow, was this interview ever overlooked — in a Q that was posted on Monday, Jay Leno sat down with Broadcasting & Cable to talk about how he really feels about the controversy surrounding "The Jay Leno Show" — up to and including an admission that he would have "preferred" to stay on "The Tonight Show." It's worth reading the interview in its entirety, but here are a few excerpts: Last week, Warner Bros.' Barry Meyer was the latest of many to...
From feedburner.com
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- Jay Leno: I Would Go Back to ‘Tonight' Show if NBC Asked (feedburner.com)
- Conan Watch Your Back! Jay Maybe On The Move Back To Late Night! (perezhilton.com)
- Leno, Letterman turn their needles on Northwest Airlines (news.google.com)
Second thoughts? Prime-time newcomer Jay Leno would have rather stayed put at The Tonight Show – and if NBC offered him that job again, he'd take it, he told Broadcasting & Cable magazine, hastily adding that such a decision isn't his to make. Conan O'Brien, his successor as Tonight host after 17 years, is "doing fine," he said. The Jay Leno Show began on NBC in September, airing weekdays at 10 p.m., with less-than-stellar ratings...
More perspectives...
From olympics.thestar.com
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"One of the top selling costumes this Halloween is a vampire version of President Obama called 'Barackula.' Also very popular is the vampire version of former Vice President Dick Cheney, called 'Dick Cheney.'" -Conan O'Brien
"Former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker. Afterwards, Bush said, 'The crowd was so motivated, many of them left halfway through.'" -Conan O'Brien
"Bush is actually really good at...
More perspectives...
From z.about.com
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Filed under: Sedan, Performance, Ford, Celebrities
If Jay Leno were a Ferrari McLaren F1, Conan O'Brien would be a Ford Taurus SHO. Now hold on, that's not an insult to Conan, who just took over Jay's hosting duties on The Tonight Show. It's an actual fact: Jay owns a McLaren F1 and Conan drives a 1992 Ford Taurus SHO.
Conan's SHO has appeared on his... uh, show... a number of times in the past, though the most memorable cameo was this skit...
From autoblog.com
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- Marketing Daily: Conan Sketch Centers On Ford Taurus SHO (mediapost.com)
TVbytheNumbersDavid Letterman, Craig Ferguson Shine In Late Night Ratings NumbersAHN"The Late Show with David Letterman" led the week in viewers for the week ending Oct. 16. This was the late night talk show's third consecutive weekly ...'Frontline' lets its hair downSouth Coast Todayall 24 news articles »
More perspectives...
From news.google.com
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MiamiHerald.comSteve Phillips Fired, David Letterman Flying HighExaminer.comThis one is different though because it's similar to David Letterman's affairs with Holly Hester and Stephanie Burkett. Yet, Phillips got fired while ...ESPN fires both Steve Philips and Brooke HundleyTV Squad (blog)Steve Phillips fired over ESPN sex scandal; Brooke Hundley on MySpaceSan Francisco ChronicleESPN sex scandal: When you play the field, beware of fame's...
From news.google.com
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- Iowa's early Halloween-goers need jokes for treats (news.google.com)
- How fat am I? nj's GOP gov hopeful jokes on weight (news.google.com)
Telegraph.co.ukJokes Behind the Berlin WallRantRave | Published Opinion.One of the more interesting activities of the BND (Bundesnachrichtendienst) was the collection of political jokes forwarded by its informants in the former ...Berlin Wall: 20 years after its fall, divide remainsTelegraph.co.ukall 286 news articles »
From news.google.com
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- Duke of Edinburgh jokes about Indians named Patel (news.google.com)
- Angels keeping it positive in face of elimination (news.google.com)
New York Daily NewsVIDEO: Jimmy Fallon Spoofs a Sulky Robert PattinsonPeople Magazine"Pumpkins are dumb fat squashes," Fallon jokes in a fake British accent. "Candy corns are stupid. Are you a candy or are you corn? ...VIDEO: Jimmy Fallon Spoofs on Twilight StarTheCelebrityCafe.comJimmy Fallon Lampoons Robert Pattinson Lampooning HalloweenWall Street Journal (blog)Jimmy Fallon – Bothered by Robert PattinsonBSCreviewUs Magazine -Sassyqarla...
More perspectives...
From news.google.com
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Just Jared (blog)Best Halloween Songs - Pranks for Taylor Swift, Halloween Jokes from EllenNational LedgerBest Halloween songs? While country sensation Taylor Swift doesn't make the list, she gets pranked by Ellen. ...Taylor Not So Swift on Her Feet After Ellen's SpookapaloozaE! Onlineall 16 news articles »
From news.google.com
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- ESPN Sends Griese Running for the Border (news.google.com)
Here are a few of our favorite Late Night Jokes with David Letterman:
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
- David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
- David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
- David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
- David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
- David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
- David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
- David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
- David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
- David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
- David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
- David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
- David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
- David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
- David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
- David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
- David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman
