Dear Brain,I appreciate everything you've done for me. All the times you provided the random piece of information I needed to feel smarter than the actual Jeopardy contestants. And I forgive you for those times you we're polite and let my mouth go first and it didn't work out. But if you'd just shut up for a bit so I could fall asleep that would be great.Thanks bunchesDani Read Full Story

As we get closer and closer to Fiona's second birthday (Dec 21) she develops more charming symptoms of the terrible twos. I thought she'd been having tantrums for a while now until she had a real one the other night, yikes! She was mad because Dave took the dogs for a walk (I know he's a horrible person, call CPS). At the moment she's in the "no" stage only instead of just refusing whatever it is she says, "no thank you".Picture this I was trying to put her to bed and she didn't want to go do... Read Full Story

Sales Lady: You can buy yarn and make one just like this.Me: Or I could just buy this one that's already made (and you get the commission) Read Full Story

So I was cleaning our room. It's been a while...well okay probably a year.What I've always admitted we're slobs and hello small child on top of epic slobdom....ummm end rant.This time I took out three garbage bags full of watter bottles. Read Full Story

My dad was watching tv in the family room when he heard the crunch of cat food from the kitchen. He thought nothing of it until the cat strolled in to the room and he could still hear the crunching. He went in to the kitchen and turned on the light to discover that a skunk had wandered in the open back door and was helping its self to the free meal on the floor. He decided chasing the skunk out was a bad plan and left it to it's meal. Luckily the skunk decided to go back out the open door rat... Read Full Story

Once many years ago my family went camping with my grandparents and their friends. At one point my brother who was about 6 needed to go to the bathroom and walked over to the facilities. He came back crying and said he wasn't allowed to go. When we tried to get him to explain he said "no peeing". We thought maybe there was some older kid being a bully so my Mom, Grandpa and I walked him back over to the bathroom. He ran a bit ahead an pointed at the sign out front saying "see no peeing". Read Full Story

We put a note over the doorbell that says, "Baby sleeping" so thanks for not ringing the doorbell. However knocking isn't really better as we have dogs who make a lot of noise when they think someone wants in the house. Also when we don't answer the door knocking again is not likely to get a pleasant response. So please don't be surprised that I don't want to buy any of your magazines and all I say to you is, "BABY SLEEPING!" as I point to the note mentioned above. Read Full Story

I love Orchids. They are one of my favorite flowers, the other two are Roses and Plumera (just in case you wanted to send me flowers). Over the years a few well meaning people have given me an orchid plant as a gift. Sadly I have killed them all and there have been at least .......mental counting......10 or more. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I read up on how to care for them and followed all the instructions but they never survive. I had a two or three that I kept alive for years, they ... Read Full Story

Conversation in the carFiona: Ohhh songMe: Do you like this song sweetie?Fiona: What's it?Me: It's called Leave Out All the Rest and the band is called Linkin Park.Fiona: Ooooo park! I swing!Me: Sorry honey, not that kind of park Read Full Story

Traffically Impossible= 1. A phrase I accidentally coined this weekend. 2. A travel plan hindered by the difference between the amount of time it should take based on distance and the amount of time it will take based on actual road conditions.In a sentence: The tourists plan to drive from San Francisco to Santa Cruz after lunch and be back before dinner was traffically impossible. Read Full Story