Alberto Gonzales Slandered by Liberal Media
Alberto Gonzales, Dumbya’s ex-Attorney General, says his legacy and his image have been ruined. Gonzales was best known for his frequent memory blackouts and his pants-creaming fantasies involving spreadeagled Iraqi prisoners.
An interviewer asked Gonzales: “Would you agree that your reputation was damaged by your service as attorney general?”
Struggling through his crippling amnesia, Gonzales rambled:
“It has had a, uhhh…an effect, a positive…no, I mean, uh, what’s the opposite of, of, uhh — Negative, that’s it. A negative effect, no question about it, and at times it makes me, uhh…happy, no, that’s not the right word, uhh, what do you call it when you, when you, uummm — Angry, that’s it. Angry because it is, uhhh, what’s that word when you don’t think you — undeserved, that’s it. But I don’t want to sound like I am whining. At the end of the day, uh, what did I do today? Oh, I meant that figuratively. At the end of the day I’ve been the, the, what was that job title again? OK, I remember now. Attorney general of the United States. It’s a remarkable privilege, and I stand behind my service.”
Last December, Gonzales actually asked: “What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?”
Gonzales starts a new job next month, teaching political science at Texas Tech University. That is, if he doesn’t forget.
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