From theonion.com
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The Golden Globes—the Oscars' drunk, vaguely Euro third cousin once removed—hasn't had a host (besides magnums of Moet champagne, and a reaction shot of Jack Nicholson) since 1995. But in an effort to make next year's Golden Globes telecast slightly watchable, The Hollywood Foreign Press has decided to enlist the help of Ricky Gervais, whose award show appearances are usually the only small liferafts on the sea of cascading unbearableness that...
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