To the Westboro Baptist Church

Hello friends.

I saw your latest protest on the news channels. Keep up the good work! Your stance on religion is quite obviously the right one! Imagine a world where everyone lives in peace. Now that is a terrifying idea. Your campaign "God hates Fags". Brilliant! I may be an Atheist, And I may not agree with religion, but I agree with you guys. Hatred will solve the world's problems. Just think, with you guys out there, no one will have to question their own life because they can get their answers directly from you! Your interpretation of the bible is most definately on the mark. Sure the book has been modified more times than a bundt cake recipe. Sure it has more inconsistancies than "A million little pieces." And sure, the idea that believing that a book was written by god is a bit ridiculous. Through all that, you guys still end up being right! 

When you guys stand outside of soldier's funerals preaching your ideals. I feel deep in my heart that I would like to be standing out there with you. (Though I probably wouldn't hold a sign, instead perhaps a baseball bat.) Watch the parents of these soldiers cry, not because you are hurting them at their most vulnerable, but because they know you're right. See! Everyone thinks you're right. I watched a documentary about your church in which a horrible man (Keith Allen) came and pointed out your hypocritical ideals. How dare he accuse you of hypocracy. Just because one of the heads of your church was born out of wedlock doesn't make you hypocrites. Sure you preach against that sort of thing and accuse people on the streets of being godless whores. But you're just helping people right?

You guys make a father proud. You are everything that I represent. I can't wait until you show up to my place so I can tell you in person. Don't worry, you'll like it! It's warm, interesting sights, (an eternity of pain and suffering)  you get to chat with neat people, like Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot. Etc. I've already got a room set up for you guys! I don't want to ruin the surprise but think "Tiajuana" I hope you like donkeys!

Can't wait to see you

Lucifer