this was just after I walked up the hill both ways in the snow to school, mind you
In 2000, when I was seventeen or eighteen or some such age, I remember when I heard “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on the “classic rock” station. It was terrifying, because I had never considered the possibility that anything associated with me would ever become associated with old people, because, naturally, I would never become old. For whatever reason, the flood of childhood classics moving into “old person media” never really happened, though. Until recently, I assumed this was simply because there was no “promotion” process in place for music, as the recording industry and broadcasting (and therefore, time based genres) simply hadn’t been around long enough to necessitate such a thing. I mean, think about it — the music you hear on “oldies” stations is the first stuff that’s every qualified as such. When those songs were new, they didn’t HAVE “oldies” stations. They simply created a new genre for it once it was necessary. The same thing happened with “classic rock” — trust me, most of us know the difference between “oldies” and “classic rock”, but really, they’re just labels for two different eras that have both ended.
In the heyday of my demographic’s cultural relevance (say, ‘92 to ‘02), we had “alternative rock”, which was really just music from rock bands that weren’t already famous. Now, with a clearly different generation of 12-18 year-olds running the show, I’m under no illusions that my relevance has hasn’t waned. In what I assume is an unrelated coincidence, I almost never listen to music on the radio anymore (which I did heavily in the 1990s, even taping entire blocks of my favorite shows to find songs I liked). So yesterday, driving home, I put on DC101, which is apparently a “modern rock” station.
You know what’s playing?
“Plush”, from Stone Temple Pilots’ “Core”, which came out in 1992. That was SIXTEEN YEARS ago — think of it this way; if the radio had been playing songs that old when “Core” came out, it’d be like hearing “Plush” right after “Take It to the Limit” from the EAGLES, which came out in 1976.
You know what came on next?
“Smells Like Teen Spirit”. I kid you not. That song is actually a year OLDER than “Plush”.
Don’t get me wrong — these songs are awesome, these bands are awesome. But what are they doing on allegedly “modern rock” radio? Shouldn’t kids be making fun of me for listening to today’s equivalent of The Eagles? Not listening to the same thing?
I have no idea. Let’s ask Wikipedia, maybe it knows what the hell is going on. So?
“Modern rock is a term commonly used to describe a rock music format found on American commercial radio. Generally beginning with late 1970s punk but referring especially to rock music since the 1980s, the phrase “modern rock” is used to differentiate the music from “classic rock”, which focuses upon music recorded in the 1960s through the early 1980s. More specifically, the modern rock format consists of commercial radio stations that primarily play alternative rock. As such, the format is also frequently called alternative radio.”
So wait a minute — classic rock is from the 1960’s to early 1980’s, but modern rock is from the 80’s until… when? When do we cut this off? When are these kids going to stop mooching off Nirvana and do something themselves? Blah, blah, blah, I’m old, get off my lawn!!!
Seriously, though, with a few notable exceptions, I wasn’t listening to albums from sixteen years ago when I was formulating my musical preferences. And yes, I understand that STP and Nirvana could BE those exceptions nowadays, but they’re just the tip of the iceberg; I heard Jane’s Addiction on the air the other day, people. This is not an isolated incident. Are you seriously telling me that Fallout Boy and Panic at the Disco and Stick It In My Ass are all part of the same musical era as grunge and the 90’s punk revival? Isn’t this “era” getting a little crowded, not to mention a bit long in the tooth? Do we have any bright-line distinctions between now and then?
“As alternative rock’s popularity in the mainstream declined, heavy metal, nu metal, rap metal, pop punk, emo and other commercially successful forms of rock music also became popular on modern rock radio.”
Ohhhh, I see. This crappy, overprocessed garbage is trying to graft itself onto “alternative rock”, which was responsible for enough bad music without being blamed for “Puddle of Mudd”. We need to give all this bullshit a name, because I will not stand for associating it with the bands of my childhood (particularly the ones I still like). I don’t care what that name is, or who comes up with it, either, because I don’t plan on listening to it. It’ll be like Disco for today’s kids. You can make fun of it later, just like our parents.
